Red Strings of Fate
by unicornhime
Summary: AH AU When Edward finally gets the chance at getting the girl, he has no idea what to do, so he turns to a message board called The Red Strings of Fate. A story told in technology.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Alright, it's time for my next project! I hope you enjoy this, it's a little bit different. This whole story will be told in emails, text messages, and message board posts. I MIGHT do excerpts of narrative, but they won't be posted here. I kind of got this idea from _Boy Next Door_ by Meg Cabot and a Japanese drama called _Densha Otoko_. So there might be some similarities, but I'm trying to work in my own twists, too. **

**Many thanks to my flist over at LJ for helping me figure out what was going on and encouraging this madness (Adair, Jacyevans, LadyAkako, Wuthers, choosetodream, AmythestJackson - you're all awesome), and the_gazebo for helping me brainstorm some screen names. If you leave me some in the reviews that I like, I might include them. **

**Also, apologies for the wonky emails, ffnet strips anything that looks normal.  
**

**Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just playing with their technologies.**

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_Red Strings of Fate_

_Summary: AH AU When Edward finally gets the chance at getting the girl, he has no idea what to do, so he turns to a message board call The Red Strings of Fate._

* * *

From: Ben (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: What in the world

----

What in the world happened this morning? Emmett was just in here telling all the guys that his little brother has finally become a man. He refuses to elaborate, but just kept grinning like the giant oaf that he is (no offense, but really, has he ever been tested for steroids?). Normally I'd just ignore him, but you didn't show up when your shift began. Clearly, something big happened. You can't let Emmett know something that I don't, that's cruel and unusual punishment.

-Ben

***

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Your little boy

----

Hey Mom! Guess what! Edward has a story to tell you! I'd just tell you myself, but I wouldn't want to steal his thunder. I'm a considerate brother like that, y'know.

BUT! I can tell you that it involves Edward. And a girl. : D

Love,

Em

PS – Can you make lasagna when we come for dinner on Sunday? Rosalie puts something funky in the recipe she makes. And I want lasagna.

PPS – Don't tell Rose I said that.

***

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Just saying hi

----

Edward,

I was just talking with Tanya this morning – you remember her, don't you? Pretty little thing that works at that coffee shop around the corner that you used to hand out at all the time? She is such a pretty girl, you two would look so cute together. Have you met anyone special out at school yet? You wouldn't keep something like that from your mother, would you?

It wouldn't hurt to call me every once in awhile either.

Love, Mom

***

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I love you

----

Emmett, thank you for this little tidbit of information! Did he finally get a date? Has he been secretly dating all this time and only just coming out? Wait, you said girl, right? And something about romance? Right?

He won't pick up his phone! Emmett, tell your brother not to be so cruel to his mother.

He gets email on his phone right? He has one of those crazy hi-tech things, doesn't he? I can't remember if it was his phone I was trying to use or someone else's, and I kept accidentally sending out emails when I was just trying to call the weather forecast number.

I'm sending him another email anyway. You know he spends all his time online anyway. He's going to go blind. All that staring at a screen can't be good for him.

Love,

Mom

PS – I'd be happy to make lasagna!

PPS – Your secret is safe with me.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I know you got my email

----

Edward,

What's taking you so long to respond? Call (or email!) your mother!

Love, Mom

***

To: Ben Cheney (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

From: Lauren Mallory (lollipop58(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Unheard of

----

Ben,

You mean there's actually gossip in this awful place???!! I heard you talking to whats-his-name from next door during lunch. YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON. I'M DYING OF BOREDOM. I don't know how many more whiny, snot-nosed children asking me for ice cream I can take.

-L

***

To: Lauren Mallory (lollipop58(a)mymailman. com)

From: Ben Cheney (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: whiny, snot-nosed children asking me for ice cream

----

Lauren,

What did you expect when you applied to work at an ice cream booth?

And what do I look like, a girl? I'm not going to gossip about my friends.

-Ben

PS - How did you get this email address anyway?

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Ben (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Come on, man

----

Edward,

Where are you? I can't remember the last time you missed a day of work. Did you bomb a test or something? I can't think of anything else that would keep you from this place. And I feel I need to warn you… Lauren Mallory from that ice cream booth around the corner may grill you once she finds you. That girl is starved for scandal. So…heads up on that.

Ben

***

To: Emmet (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: (no subject)

----

I hate you so much right now.

-Edward

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I called you yesterday

-----

Hi Mom,

Emmett was joking. Again. You should know better than to fall for his pranks by now. Sorry it took me awhile to respond, my phone got a bit damaged this morning and it won't connect to the internet.

I'll call you when I get the chance, I need to get my phone fixed and run some errands.

Love you,

Edward

***

To: Ben (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: The Story

-----

Ben,

Thanks for the heads-up on Lauren.

Emmett is just being himself. I talked to a girl on the bus this morning and he's blowing it way out of proportions.

Sorry I couldn't respond, my phone is being difficult. I told Emmett to go in for me, and apparently, he chose to interpret that to mean go make my life difficult.

Anyway, I should be in tomorrow.

-Edward

***

FR: Alice  
555-9493

-----

Is that bella swan I see walking in late?

FR: Bella

555-3285

-----

thanks for making my phone go off, I almost made it unnoticed

FR: Alice  
555-9493

-----

Ha, not a chance, prof's got hawk eyes. What happened?

FR: Bella

555-3285

-----

Slight crisis on the bus, but with happy ending. I'll tell you later –getting prof's stinkeye. Turning phone off now.

FR: Alice  
555-9493

-----

WHAT? You can't just drop that on me, that's cruel. I expect a full report after class.

***

POSTED 12:08 PM ON THE RED STRINGS OF FATE MESSAGE BOARD

_that_boy posted:_

So, I feel kind of weird posting this, but I'm kind of desperate. I don't have much experience with dating and I can't afford to mess this up. My brother directed me here, and said this message board gave great advice for his marriage, and it wouldn't hurt for me to look.

To give you some background, I'm 20 years old and I'm going to college. I don't date. It's not that I'm bad looking (according to my family, so I guess that's up for debate anyway), I'm just…painfully shy. I've always been that boy in the back you just sort of skim over.

This is where you come in.

This morning, I was riding the bus to class, as usual. I sat in my usual seat (third row, right side, window), and watched the usual crowd get on. Part of the usual crowd includes one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen. She has long dark hair, big doe-y eyes, always carries a book, and always smiles at me. Her smiles make my morning. But I'm always too flustered to do anything but look away, and she sits in her usual seat (third from the back, left side, aisle) and opens her book.

But there was something different about this morning. There was an unfamiliar rider that apparently decided to start the weekend (very) early. He reeked of alcohol and staggered onto the bus. I don't know how he paid his fare, or why the driver let him on, but there you go.

He began leering at all the women on the bus, and honed in on my pretty girl. He stumbled over to her and began addressing her very loudly, calling her disgusting terms, and using foul language.

I was cowering against the window, with my fists clenched – I didn't know what to do! This guy was drunk, and twice my size!

But when he began pawing at her, something in me snapped and I couldn't watch anymore. I stood and walked down the aisle. I could feel everyone watching me. I grabbed the man's shoulder and turned him around so he wasn't facing her anymore. I told him to leave her alone. He laughed at me and stepped forward to fight back. I held up my hands, forgetting my phone was in one of them, and he shoved me, making the phone drop with a sickening clatter as I could hear it break. He stepped forward again, at exactly the time the bus took a wide turn, and he lost his balance and fell, hitting his head hard against the metal pole on the way down. It was hard enough to make a loud clang and I'd be surprised if he didn't have a huge bruise tomorrow.

The bus driver finally saw what was going on and ordered him to get off, which he did, looking dizzy and confused.

The girl had been hiding behind her book and finally looked up at me, those big, brown eyes shining with thanks. I could barely speak to her, but she gave me her number on a torn sheet of loose-leaf and said she wanted to thank me for what I did by taking me to dinner. I mumbled that I'd like that, and then we were at her stop. She smiled and told me to call her to set up a time, and then disappeared in the crowd.

I reclaimed my poor phone, and the rest is history.

So my question is: what do I do now? Call her? Text her? What do I say?

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_death_and_taxes posted:_

First, congrats on defending your girl, man! It takes guts to stand up like that, and you were the only one with the balls to do it.

Second, the ball's in your court now. She gave you her number, so she definitely wants you to call her.

Do it!

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim posted:_

I'll second the congrats, but don't call her yet! A text is a lot less scary. What if when you call, she asks something and you don't know what to say? You can plan out a text.

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Nah, a text isn't personal enough! What kind of a douche asks a girl out by texting her? Besides, what if she doesn't have free texting? Way to start off on her bad side!

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

This is the age of technology!! A text is totally acceptable. It takes the pressure off her to respond right away. I like when guys text me so I have time to think of a good excuse to say no. ;)

Not that this girl will say no! I mean, she totally gave you the green light. It's pretty much a sure thing.

IN REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Thanks for all your advice, I think I will text her. If I talk to her, I'd just stutter. And have long, awkward pauses.

But…what do I say?

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Something smooth like: You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

Amiright?

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Or this: If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

No, this one!

People call me John (or whatever your name is), but you can call me Tonight!

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

EW NO. that_boy, don't listen to him. Those would only MAYBE POSSIBLY work on her if she were a drunk barfly. LOL. Treat her with some class. I like it when guys treat me with class. This one time, this guy rescued me from one of those sleezy pick-up lines guys and he didn't even try to hit on me! It was totally hot.

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

This whole thread is insane.

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Not even: Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. ???

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Did you hear that? The whole internet just boo-ed you.

IN REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

This…really isn't helping.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: My favorite damsel in distress

-----

I think you forgot to turn your phone back on. I left you like, five messages. Okay, only two, but still. You need to answer your phone when I call you.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I am not a damsel

-----

Alice, what more could you possibly want to know? I told you the whole story, in great detail, for at least thirty minutes.

And yes, my phone is off still. I'm trying to get some studying in.

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You can't be studying that hard

------

You're still answering your email.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Bella: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: What

-----

I'm not turning my phone back on. What do you need?

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Well….

-----

I just wanted to know if your white knight called you yet. But, since you haven't turned on your phone, I guess you wouldn't know, huh?

Bet you're turning on your phone pretty quick now, huh?

Hearts,

Alice

***

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Okay, here's what you have to do: text her so she has your name and number. Ask her if she's okay.

And that's all. Shows that you care, and gives her any and all necessary info.

IN REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Thank you! I think that will work.

I'm sending it right now…


	2. Chapter 2

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE WORDS**

**---------- **

**Wow, you guys. I didn't expect such a positive response, so a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed. I'm so glad this is shaping up to work out like I had planned.**

**Couple of questions I wanted to answer: Yes, this is a multi-chaptered fic. I'm looking at about 15 chapters right now. That is, if everything works out the way I outlined. It might be a little shorter or longer, depending on how talkative people decide to be. Also, I was hoping to update about once a week. Last week I was gone on a family reunion and without internet for several days. From here on, though, I'm going to try to update once a week. I don't know what day yet. **

**Anyway, enough business, on with the story! Enjoy!**

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers  
**

**PPS - I'm sending Emmett 'round to give all y'all a giant bear hug. He might drag Edward along for kicks and giggles. Just wanted to warn you. :)  
**

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FR: Unknown  
555-1912

-----

Hey this is Edward, from the bus this morning. I just wanted to see if you made it through the rest of the day ok.

***

IN REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

It's been 30 minutes. No reply.

-

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim posted:_

Don't worry! Maybe she's not near her phone or it's turned off or something. Maybe she's at work. But don't give up just yet!

-

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Nah, she's just ignoring you. Who doesn't check their phone at least once in a half hour?

-

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

You should have used one of my lines. They're pretty much a guaranteed success.

"I know I don't have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk."

Pure gold.

-

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Sparklemotion posted:_

STILL EW NO.

Listen, sometimes girls like to play a little hard to get. I speak from experience here, hahaha. I don't know why I do it, but it's a lot more fun than if everything falls into place right away. This one time, I stringed a guy along for TWO WEEKS.

Of course, he got bored and gave up on me. But I had fun while it lasted.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Aliiiiice

-----

He texted me last night, but I didn't get it until like an hour later thanks to my ridiculous urge to study. I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. Do you think I've horribly offended him?

And to top it off, I missed the bus this morning because I was up so late studying and trying to get a hold of him. So I didn't get to see him in person, either.

I'm in class now, so don't try to call me. I'm in the last row, though, so you should be able to email me without fear.

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: What are you doing in class?!

----

What if he tries to call you again and you can't answer? Where are your priorities?

Hearts,

Alice

PS – And no, I'm sure he wasn't horribly offended. I don't think it's possible for you to offend anyone, sweetie.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: My Priorities

-----

I still have my phone turned ON, just set on vibrate. If he texts, I can respond. If he calls, well, then I know he still wants to talk to me? I can't skip class in hopes that a guy will call me.

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Even still…

----

Any excuse to skip class is good enough for me. You missed a perfect opportunity.

Anyway, keep me updated. You still have to work tonight?

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I'm a slave to the Man

-----

Yup, another closer shift. And I'm pretty sure I'm scheduled with Mike tonight, and he certainly won't care if I have my phone out. It'll give him something to talk to me about. And you know how he jumps on every little chance like that. So as long as no customers steal me away, I should be safe.

Class is wrapping up, I'll call you in a bit.

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Good

----

I'll come visit you at work, too. I need to hear/see this text message and break it down for you. You know there's always hidden meanings…

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I'm not dead or ignoring you

-----

Mom,

Just wanted to let you know my phone is on the fritz. I dropped it the other day, and it didn't seem to like that very much. So if you need to get a hold of me, try emailing me - I'll be working on my computer, so I should get it. I took my phone in to be repaired and it should be fixed by tomorrow, but I wanted to let you know.

Love,

Edward

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Please please please

-----

Em, I have a big favor to ask. You know what happened on the bus the other day? Well when I dropped my phone, something broke, and now it won't make out-going calls or texts. So can you swing by work so I can borrow your phone? You know I don't have a landline and if I borrow anyone else's, there will be questioning.

Please, as my brother, do this for me?

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Oh Eddie, Eddie, Eddie

-----

An older brother as upstanding as myself lives for moments like this. It's about that girl, right? PLEASE telling me you're doing something about that.

Rosalie would like to add that if you had a girl, you wouldn't be so boring. I certainly think you'll be more exciting. I mean, even the mere prospect of a girl makes you more fun.

I will be seeing YOU later today, bro.

-Emmett

***

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Okay, minor crisis. My phone is a lot worse off than I realized. It no longer makes calls or texts, and won't ring when I have an incoming call or text, no matter how many times I restart it or change the volume.

The worst part is how I discovered this: I woke up this morning to one missed call from that girl. She did try to call me back, but didn't leave a message.

Thankfully, I still have her number on the paper she gave me. Should I try to call her from another phone? I don't have a landline, but I can borrow my brother's cell. What would I say?

Or, should I wait until I get my phone back from the repair shop tomorrow afternoon? Would that just make things more complicated? Or has too much time passed and should I just kiss my chances goodbye now?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_Sized posted:_

Okay, I know I'm new to this post, but I have to say, CALM DOWN. Breathe.

These things happen. I'm sure she'd understand, and if she doesn't, then she's not worth it. If you feel like you're up to a conversation with her, call from your brother's phone and just explain what happened, and tell her you'll call her when you get your phone back. If that seems too overwhelming, just wait 'til you get your phone back and text her again. It's not the end of the world.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Like I was saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? A little time between contact is probably better for you anyway. Makes you seem mysterious.

And Mysterious Guys are HAWT.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

A good line solves everything.

"If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."

Just saying.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Squishy posted:_

I think we can all just assume that everything SmoothCriminal posts from now on is safe to ignore?

And for the record, I vote wait for your phone. It's just a day, right? Besides, won't you see her on the bus again?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Squishy makes a good point – what happened on the bus? If she didn't say anything then, well, you pretty much are screwed after all.

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

She wasn't on the bus this morning.

Is that good or bad or nothing at all?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_Texas_sized:_

I'd say nothing at all. So she's not on the bus. Maybe she had something else going on where she just didn't need to ride the bus this morning.

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Or she's avoiding him.

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_Anon posted:_

Or this whole thing is made up and it doesn't matter.

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Or she's playing the hard to get game. Taking away your easy chance for face-to-face interaction and making you chase after her. Is she worth it? Please tell me she's worth it and you won't change your mind. I had a guy tell me I wasn't worth chasing, once. Uncool.

Oh, and I vote wait, obviously.

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Disregard the previous email

-----

Emmett,

Turns out I don't think I need your phone after all.

Don't stop by today. Please. Think of my poor coworkers.

I'm not even going to address Rosalie's comment.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Oh no you don't

-----

I'm not about to let you miss this chance. I am showing up.

Plus, you know I'm never going to let you live this one down, so you might as well make good on your request.

-Emmett

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: DEAD

-----

Edward,

Don't you EVER use the word "dead" in the subject to me again.

Love,

Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Edward's Deadline

------

Mom,

Just wanted to let you know, Edward now has an official deadline. If he doesn't man up by the end of the week and talk to a girl, I get his share of dessert.

And he's totally cool with this. I mean, I talked with him and everything.

-Emmett

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: When in doubt, blame Emmett

-----

Mom,

I'm still alive, no thanks to your other son. Do you know what he did to me today? I simply asked him for a favor – to swing by work so I could borrow his phone while mine was getting fixed. I ended up not needing it, so I told him not to bother. But Emmett, being Emmett, insisted that he would be there to get maximum embarrassment out of me. When he didn't show up all through my shift, I thought maybe he actually matured a little.

But no. I should have known better. Instead, the goon not only broke into my car, but _hid in the back seat_ until I was pulling out of the parking lot and then jumped out, shouting at me. It's a good thing there was no one nearby.

So if I do ever end up dead, ask Emmett first.

Love,

Edward

PS – Anything he mentioned to you revolving around my shares of dessert are complete fabrications and should be disregarded immediately.

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You are no longer my favorite son

------

You're trying to kill me, aren't you?

Love,

Mom

PS – I'm considering making ramen noodles instead of lasagna. I hope you're thinking about what this means.

***

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Okay, I decided to wait. That's kind of obvious, I guess, since I didn't post any update or anything. I just picked up my phone, and I'm going to call her now.

I wrote down what I want to say, so hopefully I won't screw this up.

Wish me luck.

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

S_moothCriminal posted:_

Remember, if anything goes wrong, just give her a line. Compliment her. Another one of my favorites is "I thought diamonds were pretty until I laid my eyes on you!"

Good luck!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

Good luck! And don't forget to relax. Breath! I'm sure you'll do great.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

And don't forget to let us know when she thinks you're a creepy stalker for watching her on the bus.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim:_

Ignore him, you weren't being creepy. Don't worry about that right now, just concentrate making a good first impression. Which, really, is already mostly done, considering you saved her from a creepy drunk the first time you made contact. You've pretty much got it made.

Just don't mess it up!

Good luck!

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: CURSE ALL BODILY FUNCTIONS

-----

Dearest Alice,

He called me. And I would have finally talked to him, _had I not been in the freaking bathroom. _I swear, I was only in there for a minute, and that was the one minute he had to choose to call me. And I couldn't answer the phone while I was on the porcelain throne (but I won't lie, the thought crossed my mind).

And because I'm being a complete girl, here was his message:

"Um, hey again. This is Edward. Again. From the bus? Um, sorry I didn't call yesterday, my phone was getting fixed, and I don't have a phone line. Otherwise I would have. Called you, I mean.

"So, uh, give me a call when you get this. I hope we can end our telephone tag. Talk to you later. I hope."

I'm calling him right now, otherwise I'd be calling you.

Wish me luck!

Bella


	3. Chapter 3

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)  
FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)  
SUBJECT: You people are still amazing****  
---------- **

**I still can't believe the response this is getting. So thank you all SO much.**

**Also, much thanks to wuthers for beta-ing this chapter. She helped make this Edward even more adorable. **

**I don't have much else to say, so let's move on to the chapter!  
**

**Hearts and Love,  
unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.  
**

**

* * *

  
**

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Don't

----

tease me so!

Good luck!

Hearts,

Alice

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

On the phone now. Need a restaurant.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Not McDonalds. Trust me.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim posted:_

What style of food?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Squishy posted:_

And if she's allergic to anything

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

One stupid comment later, Italian. No on the spicy.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Texas_sized posted:_

Ask her if there's any place in particular she likes.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Sugarcoated posted:_

Take her to the most expensive place you know. That'll impress her.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Burningcherubim posted:_

Take her to a place you know.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Texas_sized posted:_

Tell her you want to make sure you pick a good place, so you'll look around and let her know.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Are there any foods she can't eat? Or is she a girl that'll just eat half a salad and say she's full? Cuz that's lame. I like a girl with an appetite.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon Posted:_

Mexican

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BeenthereDonethat Posted:_

No place shady. Or that could possibly make her sick.

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Okay, I'm off the phone now. She was planning on going out of town this weekend (her dad lives not too far away and it's his birthday), and I blurted out that I didn't want to wait until next week.

Instead of calling me a creep and hanging up, she just laughed and said something like, "Well, if you want, I was planning to stop in Port Angeles along the way for lunch. You could meet me there. They have some pretty good places there."

I asked if she had any favorites or vetoes.

She didn't say anything for a minute, then said with a kind of laugh in her tone, "No. Uh, sorry, I forgot you couldn't see me and was shaking my head. I'll eat pretty much anything. Except like, really, really burn-your-tongue-off spicy."

I got this ridiculous grin on my face, because I do that all the time. I told her so, and that I would keep that in mind.

"So, would that be ok with you? I'm leaving kind of late tomorrow morning, and I'm shooting to be in Port Angeles around one, so I'll miss the lunch rush," she said.

I was scheduled to work a shift on Saturday, but I'm sure I can call in some favors, so I said that sounded great. Then I asked if there was any place in particular that I should aim for when I'm picking a place.

She thought for a minute, then said, "Well, I need to get my dad a present still. There's this little bookstore that has some books that I think he might like that you can't find in big stores here in the city. There are a bunch of restaurants around it. Would you like to meet me there? Say, around 1:30?"

It sounded perfect.

"And you're sure it's not a problem?"

I couldn't think of any problem that would be big enough to keep me from seeing her. I reassured her that it was fine.

"Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow."

And then we said our goodbyes and hung up.

I think it went well? That's not completely word for word, obviously, but you get the gist.

Now I need to pick a restaurant.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

What was the stupid comment?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Um, I said something about her name being Italian, so would she like to eat that?

It made her laugh. But I didn't feel the need to include that. Thanks for bringing it up again.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

No problem! But I think if you made her laugh, you should be ok. As long as it's a happy laugh, and not a wow, you're stupid laugh.

This one guy used to be able to make me laugh at the drop of a hat. I was actually sad when he dumped me. :(

***

To Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)  
From Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: No desert for you

-----

You lose your own fake bet.

Just wanted to inform you.

-Edward

***

To: Ben (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Saturday shift

-----

Hey Ben, can you do a huge favor and cover for me on Saturday? I'll explain everything when I come in on Monday. I'll owe you one.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett(ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: My baby's all grown up and talking to girls

-----

Did you play the knight in shining armor card? Please tell me you got a date out of that. If you didn't even get a date for that, I'm disowning you.

-Emmett

***

To: Emmett(ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: If you disowned me, who would you torture?

-----

I'll have you know we're going out tomorrow for lunch.

Now get back to work. If you're responding so fast, there's got to be something else you're supposed to be doing.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Shows what you know

-----

Rosalie's trying a new recipe, so I'm looking up some new restaurants. I'm bored of all our normal places, and I know that smoke detector is going to go off at any minute.

And I'd still torture you even if you weren't my brother.

-Emmett

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: While you're at it…

-----

Do you know of any good places in Port Angeles? I wanted to get out of the city and will be in that area.

-E

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: HA. You can't fool me!

-----

You're driving all the way to PA for this girl?! Just to eat? She's already got you whipped and you haven't even-

Oh shoot, there's the alarm. Gotta go!

-Em

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Crisis averted

-----

Mike's letting me use his hi-tech phone to email you, because I have big news and the store is dead quiet tonight.

I have a date! Well, sort of. Long story short, I'm going to have lunch with the bus guy tomorrow. He's driving all the way out to Port Angeles to eat with me because he said he didn't want to wait any longer. How cute is that?

He seems really sweet. I'm really excited. I'm sure you're going to call me as soon as you get this, which I try to answer, so I'll save any further discussion for that moment.

-Bella

PS – And before you ask, yes, I do want to run my outfit by you before I leave. So actually, instead of calling, you might as well just come over. My roommate's out with her bf. Again. I'm not expecting her home anytime soon.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: If you're not answering your phone

-----

just to play a cruel joke on me, it's not funny. You better either be talking to that boy again or some other crucially important conversation and NOT have forgotten to turn your ringer back on again. For crying out loud, I made your phone go off ONCE. And you would have answered the phone when HE called. Had you not been otherwise occupied.

Hearts,

Alice

PS – If you did forget and only knew to answer when he called because you were staring at your phone, even in the bathroom, we're going to have to have words, you and I. I mean, I applaud your dedication, but there's a line, sweetie.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Ben (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Yeah, you owe me.

-----

Lucky for you I need the extra hours. But you're covered.

-Ben

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

Back on my phone. Sorry, had customers. And am not answering any more questions.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

You are a cruel creature. I will be waiting on your doorstep when you get off.

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Ok, I'm clear for Saturday. And I think I'm going to go to the area tonight to scope it out for possibilities. I don't know the area at all and I don't want to get lost tomorrow. Any other suggestions?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

I've got some material for you for tomorrow, though. If things get awkward, just say "Polar bear." When she says, "what?" say "Well, it broke the ice."

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Anything useful?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Squishy posted:_

If you're feeling really nervous, you could walk around tonight and pick some place. Go in and order a few dishes to see what you like best. That way tomorrow, you'll can order with confidence and you'll know what's going on. And confidence is key, man.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Hungry_like_a_wolf:_

That's actually not a bad idea. The taste test thing, not the pick-up line.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: A little birdie was chirping in my ear tonight

-----

How are you, dear? I was talking with Emmett just now, and he said you had some really exciting news for me. And that it involved a girl! You're not holding out on me now, are you?

Answer your phone when I call you!

Love,

Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I think that birdie needs to be put down

-----

Alright, Mom. Yes, I have a date this weekend. It's just lunch, so don't get too excited. Just. Lunch.

Love,

Edward

PS – I'm going to be driving here soon, so I might not be able to answer my phone, just to warn you. I'll call when I get a chance.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Driving?

-----

Where are you driving that makes you incapable of answering a phone? On a Friday evening? Are you seeing your date tonight, too? Inquiring minds need to know!

Love, Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: It's not a big deal

-----

I'm just driving a bit and might get into heavy traffic. It's a big city. I just wanted to warn you so you didn't worry.

Love,

Edward

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

I'm on my way home. Please don't hurt me.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

You are half an hour late! It's getting cold out! What happened??

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

Sorry sorry sorry! Someone came in at the last minute and had no idea what he wanted. You know how it goes.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

I do indeed. So I'll forgive you. If you get me a treat on your way.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

That would only take me longer.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

Chocolate, please!

***

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Alright, I'm logging off now and won't get in until late, because this place is a couple hours away. Thanks for the advice, I think that going there in advance is a really good idea. Thanks!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Death_and_taxes posted:_

Good luck! I never thought about planning so much ahead. Maybe I'll try it sometime.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Squishy posted:_

Good luck tonight and tomorrow!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_BurningCherubim posted:_

Good luck! And I'm sure she'll be very impressed tomorrow. And have you given any thought to what you're going to wear? While confidence is really important, your image is really important, too.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Sparklemotion posted:_

That's a really good point. You said you were decent looking, right? Well good clothes and a good attitude can make you look even better. When you get back, we'll have to analyze.

This one time, I went out with this guy who was probably a 4 or 5, but after I bought him the hottest outfit and styled his hair for him, he was definitely up to at least a 7. And a three point jump is really impressive, if you think about it.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Texas_sized posted:_

Yeah, I'll second or third or whatever the confidence advice, and going tonight will help that a lot. But it's also important to relax! If you're comfortable, she'll be comfortable.

Oh, and good luck!


	4. Chapter 4

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)  
FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)  
SUBJECT: Moving right along****  
---------- **

**Thanks to penelope rose for beta-ing.  
**

**And thanks to everyone who's recc-ing this. I still can't believe how popular it's getting. It was mentioned on the Twigasm podcast and at the Fictionators blog - thanks to everyone who let me know. And there's a thread at Twilighted where I might be convinced to give out teasers, and I'm always over at the_gazebo, so drop on by.  
**

**Hearts and Love,  
unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.**

**

* * *

  
**

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

I can't stop worrying about tomorrow. How rude/retarded am I to make him drive that far?

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

BELLA. I left 25 minutes ago. Do I need to come back? And you aren't rude OR retarded.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

No, if you come back, you'll repack my bags. Again. It's just a weekend. I just need to know I'm not crazy.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

What aren't you packing?? A weekend is a long time! And again, you're not crazy. It's a sign of how much he likes you.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

You really think that or are you just placating me? And a weekend is two days. One of which I'm already dressed for.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

I really think that. Seriously, just calm down and go to sleep. You have a big day ahead of you.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

What would I do without you? Thanks again for your help tonight.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

Repayment in clothes or souvenirs is always acceptable. ;) And you'll be great!

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I don't think I can do this.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Oh no, what happened? Did you wimp out at the last minute? Aren't you supposed to be there, like, NOW?

Don't stand her up. I had a guy stand me up once. It was not cool. I called him like, every half hour before we were supposed to meet, and then he didn't show up! Rude.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Yeah, where are you? Why are you on here?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I'm waiting outside where we're supposed to meet and I'm on the board on my phone. She's not here yet, and actually probably won't be here for another 20 minutes or so. I got here a little early.

But I don't know if I can do this. I'm so nervous, what if I screw this up from the start?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim posted:_

Breath! We can help you. What is it that is freaking you out?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Lollipop5678 posted:_

It's like that movie – don't worry about her liking you or being interested, she already said yes. She could have said no. But she is already out with you.

Now you just have to not screw it up.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Ha yeah, so you might as well give up now.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Ignore Anon, s/he is stupid.

Just stop for a moment. Like burningcherubim said, we can help you. What is it you're so nervous about? Did you go to the restaurant last night like you said? Did something happy?

***

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

I think your guy luck is rubbing off! I just met the guy of my dreams! Everything good on your end?

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

Ha, Congratulations! And I'm almost there. Nervous as all get-out.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

No, really, I did! Call me as soon as you can. And you'll be great!

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Yeah, I went to the same place last night and tried almost one of everything. I have so many leftovers, I had to go to my brother's apartment and give him some because all the boxes wouldn't fit in my fridge. I think I ate too much, I'm feeling a little sick.

Or that might be the nerves. I just really want this to go well.

I also might be a little sleep-deprived. I hardly slept at all last night.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

I wish you lived near me, I could've helped with the food. Course, I'd also try to steal your girl, so maybe it's better for you that I don't. :D

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Alright, I'll help you out.

I'll give you one of my secret sources. While you wait, Google "great pick-up lines" and go to the first link. The internet doesn't lie, man.

And I'll even prime the pump with a couple:

I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.

If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.

Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

That first one has a 50% success rate. I'm telling you, these are gems.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Just checking In

-----

Edward,

I just wanted to wish you luck on your date, honey! I know you'll check your mail even now, so Good Luck!

And your phone takes pictures right?

Love,

Mom

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Okay, we've established that we don't listen to SmoothCriminal, right?

Although I am curious now – who did that line actually work on?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim posted:_

Okay, here's what you do when you see her. Just make a mental checklist, ok?

1. Smile

2. Say hi and ask how's she's doing.

3. She'll probably ask you the same, so answer that you're good.

4. Tell her how pretty she looks. Even if you can tell she's tired or she just drove a long distance. She's still pretty!

5. Tell her where you're going to eat and lead the way. Walk beside her, don't just leave her to follow you. If it's crowded, put your hand on her back or arm to guide her.

6. I don't know what kind of restaurant you picked, but if it's nicer, pull out her chair for her. If you're in a booth, let her sit first. The waiter will take your orders and now comes the tricky part: conversation.

her about herself, but don't make it sound like you're interrogating her. Offer answers or stories about yourself. Ask questions that can lead to discussions, like… why Superman is better than Batman or something.

8. I feel this should go without saying, but I'm covering all my bases here. PAY. Nothing looks worse than a cheapskate. If she offers and insists, A) she's a keeper and B) offer to split the bill, or say you'll let her pay next time or something.

9. Walk her to her car. If things went well, give her a hug, but don't stand there debating it for five minutes. That'll make thing awkward really quickly. Wish her a safe drive. Tell her you'll call her soon, if you want to.

And you're done!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Death_and_taxes posted:_

Wow, overkill much? He's not an idiot.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burning cherubim posted:_

I know he's not an idiot. I'm sure he knows these things already, I just thought it would help to have it all laid out.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Squishy posted:_

I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

She just came around the corner!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Beentheredonethat posted:_

PUT THE PHONE AWAY, STUPID.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

Oh, I missed him. Belated Good Luck, man.

But while he's gone, I've got good news to share. Not to sound like a sap, but I think I met the girl I'm going to marry.

I was getting a late breakfast this morning at a local coffee shop, and when I walked in, the first person I saw was this beautiful girl sitting at the counter. She saw me, hopped off the bar stool, and said, "You've kept me waiting."

Discouraged, I realized she must have been waiting for someone else and simply mistook me for whoever that luck man was.

But she just smiled and insisted. She said, and I quote, "I know what I want and you're it."

We spent the rest of the morning talking at that coffee shop and have plans to go out tomorrow night.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim posted:_

Aw, that's sweet. Bring her into the forum!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Just what we need, another lovestruck liar.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Wow, bitter much? And why are you so sure they're lying?

Bitterness won't get you far with the opposite sex. This one guy was a total jerk to me, and I wanted to use this other guy to get back at him right? But that other guy totally dumped me and said I was too bitter for him.

His loss. But yeah, guys don't like bitter. So I hope you're not a girl.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

I just might tell her about this place. She's sharp, I bet she'd have some good advice for this guy. It might be awhile, though, she said she's helping her best friend in pursuit of a guy right now, and is 100% devoted to that.

-

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Are you trying to scare her away?

-----

Mom, I'm not going to take her picture.

But lunch was good. I'm sure you'll call me later and I'll tell you more then.

Love,

Edward

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

Made it home in one piece. You won't pick up your phone, so I'm sending it all via email.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I hope YOU have a good reason for not answering

-----

ALICE ALICE ALICE.

Oh this guy is adorable! How much detail do you want? Oh, who am I kidding, I know you want it all.

Well, I got there a little early, but luckily, he was even earlier. When we said hi, he was so sweet and said I looked beautiful, even though I'd just spent the last two and a half hours in a car driving from Seattle. And you've driven with me to and from Forks enough times to know that I am not beautiful when I travel.

We met at that bookstore, like I told you before, and he helped me find a good book for Charlie. (Edward was asking me all about my dad as we shopped, and we ended up with a book on fishing with some recipes so I can cook some new stuff when I visit.)

Anyway, on to lunch. He picked that cute Italian place, La Bella Italia, because he said it reminded him of me. And he was a perfect gentlemen – pulled out my chair, insisted on paying for everything, and walked to my car when we were all done!

And there weren't any awkward pauses, either! We talked like we'd known each other for years. He loves classic old movies, and you know how I'm a sucker for classics. And he has the coolest hobbies – he said he really enjoys surfing! Remember when I tried the last time we went down to La Push before we moved to Seattle for school? That was so hard! I still can't believe those guys convinced me to try. I was bruised for weeks afterwards. I said he'd have to show me sometime. He was really modest about the whole thing, but I insisted. Maybe we could even take a day-trip to the coast together.

I'm rambling. Oh, but Alice, I just can't stop smiling. I smiled the whole way to Charlie's. And even HE noticed I was in a good mood. I just told him I was excited to be home for the weekend, but still. You know how he is. Even if he notices things, he never actually brings them up.

Edward asked me to let him know that I got home alright. I'm going to text him in a minute, but I didn't want to keep you in suspense, even though you aren't answering your phone, loser. Just kidding, you know I love you, and thanks again for all your help!

-B

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

Made it home in one piece. Thanks again for lunch, I had a really good time.

FR: EDWARD  
555-1912

Glad to hear it. Have a safe trip back and I hope I'll see you again soon.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

I'm counting on it. : )

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Oh I'm in trouble.

By some stupid mistake of mine, she now thinks I know how to surf.

I have absolutely _no idea_ how to surf.


	5. Chapter 5

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: To those of us not at Comic-Con  
**

**---------- **

**Sorry for the delay this week, both my beta and I had horrible weeks. She gets a happy ending and is at Comic-Con now, so many thanks to bublichka for beta-ing this chapter. I don't know if I'll be quite back on schedule next week, but if it is late, I apologize in advance. **

**Many many thanks to all those fabulous people who review and rec this. You are amazing.  
**

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers  
**

* * *

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Beentheredonethat posted:_

Wait, WHAT? How do you even do that?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Well things were going really, really well. (Thank you for that checklist, by the way, it helped sort my thoughts.) We were sitting in the restaurant and we were talking about our hobbies. And I remember exactly was what said – it was like watching a movie where I couldn't control my actions.

"So, Edward," she began. Hearing her speak my name did ridiculous things to me. "What do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Well, I like to surf-"

"Really?" She cut me off, those big brown eyes wide, "You can surf? Isn't it hard?"

I was a little confused her question. "Not really, it seems like I've been doing it forever."

She spoke quickly, firing question after question at me. "When did you start? Where have you gone? Can you show me sometime?"

It began to occur to me that we were talking about two different things. _I_ meant to say surf the web. _She_ meant surf the ocean.

But she just looked so excited that I couldn't correct her. She launched straight into a story about a time she had tried to surf, so I just sort of went along with it. I hoped we would just move past it and that would be that, but then she asked me to show her a second time and I just couldn't say no to her.

So, uh, what are the chances that I could learn to surf before she wants to see?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Haha, you are so screwed.

-

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285  
-

Alright, Alice, last chance to dish. I'm going fishing with Charlie. No more service. See you in class tomorrow.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493  
-

Sorry! A five minute convo can't do this justice. I'll give you the whole story when you have time.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285  
-

Be still, my beating heart. : )

FR: ALICE  
555-9493  
-

Sush, you know you can't wait. Have fun with Charlie, give him my love.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285  
-

Will do. I'll just be staring at my phone, wishing I could talk to that boy.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. Com)

Subject: It was just a question

-----

Edward,

You are impossible to get any information out of. Last night felt like the Spanish Inquisition. You're still coming to dinner tonight, right? I'm making lasagna per Emmett's request, but haven't decided on dessert yet. I don't know what was going on with you and your bets, but I think you won? Do you have a request? I was thinking of your favorite, strawberry cheesecake. Or does that sweet tooth of yours require something sweeter?

Love,  
Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Yes on dinner.

-----

Mom, I'll be there for dinner, just like always. And strawberry cheesecake sounds delicious. If you talk to Emmett, tell him his piece is mine. That's really all you need to know.

Love,

Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen (a) mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000 (a) mymailman. com)

Subjet: What

-----

What is this I hear about you claiming my dessert? Come on, man, you know I was just kidding.

-Emmett

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000 (a) mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen (a) mymailman. com)

Subjet: Lies

-----

You and I both know that when it comes to dessert, you are _never_ just kidding.

I have a proposition for you, though. If you help me stand against Mom's inevitable game of 20 Questions tonight, I'll let you keep your piece.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen (a) mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000 (a) mymailman. com)

Subject: You fight dirty.

-----

I knew you were my brother. You've got a deal.

-Emmett

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

Okay, this _might_ not be a disaster. You might have time. So first, where are you located? If you're near the coast, we could pull this off. If you're in Kansas, we might have some problems.

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I'm in Seattle. I've already googled it - there are some places here where I could practice and get lessons, I think. But I'm also working and going to school, so I'm kind of on a tight schedule.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Oh, I'm in that area. Hate to say it, but yeah, you're screwed.

My number one advice to you: get a wetsuit. The water is _cold _and you're going to be doing a _lot_ of swimming.

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000 (a) mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen (a) mymailman. com)

Subject: Dinner

-----

You were absolutely worthless tonight. You did not deserve that dessert.

-Edward

***

To: Edward(eacullen (a) mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000 (a) mymailman. com)

Subject: It was not my fault

-----

Hey, at no time did you mention Rosalie. It's not my fault she is curious about her brother-in-law dating for the first time this century.

-Emmett

PS – Were you serious about the surfing thing? Because I hate to say it, but I cannot see you surfing at all. Does this have something to do with that girl?

PPS – Rose wants to know when you're seeing her again and also she says to make sure you call the girl and don't leave her hanging.

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000 (a) mymailman. com)

From: Edward(eacullen (a) mymailman. com)

Subject: I still blame you

-----

You still could have done more than just laugh at me. And egg them on. You and Dad, both useless against women.

-Edward

PS – Yes, I was serious. Can't I pick up a new hobby with getting the third degree?

PPS – I'm going to text her right now, though we already texted a little bit yesterday. Tell Rose I'm not completely hopeless and that I am somewhat offended by the implications of her message.

***

To: Edward(eacullen (a) mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000 (a) mymailman. com)

Subject: More from Rose

------

She says don't be a loser and that you should call her. Texting is for wimps.

-Emmett, though mostly Rosalie

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000 (a) mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen (a) mymailman. com)

Subject: Tell Rose to mind her own business

-----

Bella's bonding with her dad, I think, so she can't answer right now. Or she might be driving back to Seattle. I don't want to pressure her into talking on the phone while she's driving.

-Edward

***

FR: Edward  
555-1912  
-

So how did your weekend turn out? Did you have a good visit?

FR: Bella  
555-3285  
-

I had a great weekend – but the highlight wasn't seeing my dad, I hate to admit.

FR: Edward  
555-1912  
-

Oh really? What was, then?

FR: Bella  
555-3285  
-

I had a really great date with this really cute guy.

FR: Edward  
555-1912  
-

Uh-oh, I should have known I had stiff competition. I'm going to have to bring out the big guns next time.

FR: Bella  
555-3285  
-

Ha ha. Now I'm curious, what kind of guns do you have hidden away?

FR: Edward  
555-1912  
-

You'll have to suffer through another date with me to see.

FR: Bella  
555-3285  
-

Is that your way of asking me out?

FR:Edward  
555-1912  
-

If it is, and if I added the time of this Wednesday at 7, what would you say?

FR: Edward  
555-1912  
-

I'd also add that normally I wouldn't ask via text, but I didn't want to interrupt any father/daughter time.

FR: Bella  
555-3285  
-

Ha, I'd say that sounds great and I can't wait to see what you have in store. And that's really thoughtful of you.

FR: Edward  
555-1912  
-

Are you getting ready to head back here?

FR: Bella  
555-3285  
-

Yeah, so I should probably say good-bye now. I'm not coordinated enough to drive and text.

FR: Edward  
555-1912  
-

Drive safe and good night, Bella.

FR: Bella  
555-3285  
-

Goodnight, Edward.

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I successfully obtained a second date! I don't know what we're doing yet, but I have her for this Wednesday night. And it's got to be something good, because there was some mention of competition, and I'm not entirely sure she was just teasing. I mean, I'd be more surprised if there _wasn't_ some other guy trying to date her.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim posted:_

She was probably just teasing. She doesn't really seem the type of girl (from your description anyway) to be talking about other guys.

But I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a fantastic date planned anyway.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

You really like this girl, don't you? I mean, I don't think I've ever even known a guy to put forth this much effort just to get a girl .

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Did you use any of the lines I gave you? I bet other guys wouldn't even cross her mind if you used a good line.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

I think as long as you don't go surfing, you'll be fine. How's that coming, anyway? Break any bones yet?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

No I didn't use any lines. And no, I haven't had a chance to try any surfing yet. My first lesson is this Saturday, hopefully. I don't know my work schedule, and I might have to cover for the friend that covered for me last week.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Homework for Mon

-----

Alice, I'm looking everywhere, and can't find my syllabus. What are we supposed to read for tomorrow? Because I don't think it's going to get done.

There was my attempt to do work. Sad isn't it?

But guess what! I talked to Edward again today. : ) He texted me to see how my weekend had gone, and we ended up with another date scheduled for this Wednesday. That seems so far away. But then when I was driving home, I remember that we ride the same bus in the morning, so I had to call him and ask him to save me a seat.

He's so funny on the phone. When we text, he can be really flirty and teasing, but when we actually talk, he sounds so nervous! It makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one.

Anyway, where have you been all weekend. I know you found your dream man, but I was expecting to get a text like every five minutes from you asking about my sudden social life. I don't know how I feel about a man stealing you from me.

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: RE: Homework for Mon

------

You're exaggerating, I totally texted you this weekend. And you're seriously asking me about the reading? After I told you about the whole man of my dreams thing? Do you really think school is anywhere on my list of priorities right now?

Regardless, I'm pretty sure your syllabus is somewhere in that car of yours. I think you mentioned taking it with you in case you had any free time. I remember laughing.

Do I get to tell you my story yet?

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: RE: RE: Homework for Mon

------

Save the story for class tomorrow. Since clearly neither of us are going to be prepared or paying any attention.

-Bella


	6. Chapter 6

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)  
FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)  
SUBJECT: Still love all of you****  
---------- **

**Thanks go to bublichka for beta-ing again and to everyone who tried to help me think of names, even though I didn't use them.  
**

**And of course, much love and thanks to everyone who reviews!  
**

**Hearts and Love,  
unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.**

* * *

FR: Alice  
555-9493

Well aren't you grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

FR: Bella  
555-3285

ALICE. Stop making my phone ring as soon as I walk in to class.

FR: Alice  
555-9493

You know you love me. Get online so I can tell you my story. Since neither of us are going to pay attention today.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Ok, I'm on

-----

Go on and dazzle me.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subjet: Prepare to be awed

-----

But first, why are you so chipper this morning? _And_ late? You're never so happy when you're this late. I'll type up my story while you type up yours.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Well I think you can guess what it's about

------

Or _who_, rather.

So you know I met Edward on the bus at the end of last week, right? Well we haven't had a chance to be on the same bus again until today.

Normally, I just walk back to my seat towards the back of the bus, but today, as soon as I got on, I saw him sitting there and it was like everything in my world was perfect. He smiled at me and I could hear birds singing, the hallelujah chorus, the whole nine yards.

There wasn't anyone sitting next to him, miraculously, so I walked up to the seat to ask if it was ok for me to sit there. But when I got so close to him, I stupidly lost control of my mouth and ended up just sort of staring and grinning like an idiot at him until some impatient jerk tried to shove his way past me, knocking me half onto the seat and half onto Edward's lap.

(Mind you, this really didn't bother me as much as it probably should have.)

He tried to catch me as soon as he saw I was falling, so I also ended up with his arms around me for the briefest of moments, and Alice, it felt _so_ good. He has beautiful hands and a surprisingly strong grip.

We both laughed (maybe a little awkwardly) and all too soon, we were settled in a more conventional seating arrangement. He was so cute, though, he asked if I was okay and made sure nothing fell out of my bag. Somehow, I managed to scrape the heel of my hand when I fell, but there was no blood, so no big deal, right? No, he took that as a sign my ability to get hurt anywhere and kept asking if I was sure there was no where else I was injured. I finally convinced him I was fine and asked if he just kept asking me to keep me from finding out I'd injured him when I fell on him. That sort of flustered him for a minute, but it got him to drop it. Then he asked how the rest of my weekend was and it was easy conversation from there.

Which leads me to why I was late – I was so caught up in our conversation (about crappy birthday presents, no less, inspired by Charlie), that I completely missed my stop. I wouldn't have noticed until I was on the other side of town, to be quite honest, if Edward hadn't realized it was _his _stop. Clear on the other side of campus near the Music Hall. I had to run all the way here.

But it was so worth it, because once we were off the bus, he said goodbye to me and _kissed my hand_. It was so sweet! I mean, who does that anymore?

And then, sadly, that stupid bell tower tolled and reminded me how very late I was going to be. And here I am. With this stupid grin I can't get rid of.

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: My epic tale

------

The Time:

Saturday. Approximately 10:17 am.

The Place:

That coffee shop around the corner. You know, the one with the cute cashier and the sinful strawberry frappucinos?

The Characters:

Our heroine (me), dressed fantastically with those adorable new slip-ons I got last week and having an amazing hair day. I knew something good was going to happen. Truly, I looked fabulous, and that just can't go to waste.

Our Man of My Dreams, also dressed quite impressively, whose looks put the cute cashier to shame: blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and _tall_. You know how I like them tall. And well-dressed. Immediately prayed to all the fashion gods he was not gay.

Our various coffee-shop dwellers that serve no purpose in my story.

The Action:

I went to the coffee shop for a frappucino and a good flirt. Sadly, my favorite cashier was not working (they have this new chick with unfortunate hair), but I wasn't going to let that ruin my strawberry frap. I order anyway, and take a seat at the bar, hoping my cashier will start his shift sometime soon.

And then, all thoughts of my cashier going flying out the window as Man of My Dreams walks in. I don't know what came over me, but I got down off my barstool, left my frap behind, walked up to him and told him I'd been waiting for him.

That was why the world decided I needed to look so fabulous that day. As soon as I said it, I realized I _had_ been waiting for him. He joined me at the bar and we talked and talked and talked.

His name is Jasper and he's in his second year here. He's originally from Texas, but wanted a change of scenery and ended up here. He has two younger sisters (which I think explains his good fashion sense) and his favorite color is red. He had a dog named Peter growing up. And I could keep going and going. We talked clear through the lunch rush and probably would have kept going if he didn't have to go. We exchanged phone numbers and immediately planned a date for Sunday.

So THAT was Saturday. Do you want to hear about Sunday now, too?

And oh, I just your email. You type faster than me, you little speed demon. But aww. When do I get to meet him?

Hearts,

Alice

PS – I appreciated the note about his hands. I'm such a good influence on you. : )

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Wow

-----

To have your courage, for one day. But I'm really excited for you! I want to meet your guy, too. What if we doubled?

And I think you better save your Sunday story for after class. I mean, there's only like, 10 minutes left, and we should try to pay _some_ attention.

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Reality is overrated

-----

Yeah, I guess you're right. And it's kind of a miracle neither of us have been called on, what how we're obviously not paying attention.

Oh shoot, spoke too soon! Sorry!

Good guess, though.

I'll wait for you outside after class.

Hearts,

Alice

***

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

I'm having some trouble thinking up the perfect date for this Wednesday. And I need it to perfect. I saw her this morning on the bus, and I've been ridiculously happy all day because of it.

What are some of the best dates that you all have had?

***

To: Ben Cheney (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

From: Lauren Mallory (lollipop58(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Edward's Dating???

-----

Did I just hear Edward ask you for dating advice? Someone around here is actually DATING?

I NEED IN ON THIS.

-L

***

To: Lauren Mallory (lollipop58(a)mymailman. com)

From: Ben Cheney (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: It's none of your business

-----

Unless you have a really good idea for a weekday evening date in the city, keep out of it.

And please stop emailing me. Especially if you're going to email in all caps.

-Ben

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Oh, I don't even know where to begin. I mean, some of my best dates…we didn't really "go" anywhere, if you catch my drift.

Although sometimes we did go out… just to be safe, steer clear of the benches near the Sylvan Theatre. Ditto Frosh Pond.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Some of the best dates I've been on had more to do with who I was with than with where we went. And from the sounds of it, she'll like pretty much anything you give her.

For example, one of the best dates I had was just feeding ducks down at the lake near here. We just talked for hours about everything and nothing while feeding and fending off ducks. It was great.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

It also depends on what you mean by "best." What do you want out of it? Because I'm starting to think we want different things.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Burningcherubim posted:_

It's this Wednesday night, right? The weather is supposed to be really nice, you should do something outside. Ooh, and go star-gazing. That'd be so romantic.

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

By "best," I think I mean something that will really make an impression and make her want to continue accepting dates with me.

The lakes and ducks gave me an idea – what if I took her to the ferries and we spent an evening there? Or the aquarium? Could something like that work, or is that too cliché? And after the aquarium, I think know a place nearby where we could really see the stars.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Death_and_taxes posted:_

I can't remember the last time I went to an aquarium. I'm pretty sure it was in elementary school.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Ooh, and then you could say, "Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place."

Or some variation, if you're not feeling that bold.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

….

Sure, she'll definitely remember you after that.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Or you could pretend to get lost and work in, "Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes."

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

_Anyway. _I don't think there's anything wrong with going to the aquarium! I haven't been in a really long time, either. But that would be fun.

And you can keep any date from becoming cliché by doing something a little extra or unique. I think that's what you'll need to focus on if you want to count this date as the "big guns."

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Thanks. I think I have something that might work. I'll let you know about it if it does.

***

To: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Don't tell Mom

----

Hey Dad,

Do you know if Garrett is still working at the Seattle Aquarium? And do you have his number or email or something?

Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I might regret asking this

-----

But why am I keeping this from your mother?

I believe I have his number somewhere. I'll send it to you once I find out why we're keeping secrets.

-Dad

***

To: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: It's nothing big

-----

I'm just going on a date this week, and I wanted to call in a favor. Thought I could use some family ties to do something unique. Garrett would do that for his cousin, wouldn't he?

I didn't want this to get to Mom, because you know how she'll react as soon as she hears I'm working this hard to impress a girl. Please?

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Alright

-----

But you know she'll find out soon. I'll let you be the one to break the happy news to her, though.

Garrett's number is 555-1861 and his email is (swimswithsharks(a)mymailman. com). I'm sure he'd be happy to help you.

-Dad

***

To: Garrett (swimswithsharks(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Hey

-----

Hey, it's been a while, hasn't it? How's everything going?

I was hoping I could ask you for a small favor. When would be a good time to call you?

Say hi to Kate for me,

-Edward


	7. Chapter 7

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Garrett (swimswithsharks(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: RE: Hey

-----

Hey Edward! It's good to hear from you, man. And yeah, I'd be happy to help in any way I can. I'm usually off in the evenings, so your best bet is to call after 6 or so.

Kate's doing well and sends her love. I'm curious to see what you're planning and look forward to your call.

Garrett

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: That's cold, man.

-----

Real cold. I have to hear from DAD that you're planning a big date?

That's not cool.

-Emmett

***

To: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I think there was a miscommunication

-----

When I said not to tell Mom, I meant Emmett, too. How did that even come up, anyway?

Regardless, things are set up with Garrett.

I'm sure I'll be hearing from Mom any moment now, so I'll keep this short.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: It's not my fault

-----

I simply asked Emmett if he knew what you were planning. I figured if you were doing anything I needed to worry about, you'd take advantage of that knack for trouble he's developed.

Now I can rest easy. I'm sure you'll do great impressing this girl Emmett was talking about. And as far as I know, your mother still hasn't heard. I don't know why Emmett hasn't told her, so I would talk to your brother soon.

Good luck!

-Dad

***

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Alright, everything seems to be set up. All that's left is to pick out and pick up the flowers. Any suggestions?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Squishy posted:_

Roses are always classic. I don't think anyone would say no to those.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Burningcherubim posted:_

Maybe you could try to find something with a meaning? You know how every flower means something different? I bet you could find something really special.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Oh that's so sweet! I think this one guy tried that with me once? But he gave me a bunch of white and yellow carnations, so I don't think they meant what he thought they did. : (

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Death_and_taxes_

Do you know her birthday? You could do whatever her birth month flower is.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Lollipop58 posted:_

Oh I like the birthday flower idea! Mine's Lily of the Valley. And those smell soooo good!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Tulips! So you can work in "If I had a garden I'd put your tulips and my tulips together."

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Tulips are actually not a bad suggestion. I think I found what I needed.

Thank you and wish me luck!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

So the aquarium is a go, right? I've got one more for you then:

"The body is made up of 90% water and I'm thirsty."

Good luck!

***

To: Garrett (swimswithsharks(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Edward's Date

------

Hey Garrett

So my brother is being ridiculously secretive with this girl, and I know he came to you for help. Now, it is my brotherly duty to find out as much as possible about what is going on. Can you help me out here?

-Emmett

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Garrett (swimswithsharks(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: RE: Edward's Date

------

Hey Emmett

I just got back from work. Edward wanted me to help out, and I did get to meet this girl of his. I can understand why he's keeping her close, he probably doesn't want you to scare her off! As far as I could tell, though, things seemed to be going really well. I'm sure you'll meet her soon enough.

And he made me swear not to tell anyone in the family anything more until he gave me the all clear. Sorry.

-Garrett

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Stop calling me

-----

I'm not going to tell you anything, so you might as well give up now.

And if you tell Mom anything, I'm telling Rose about that time you wanted to prank her using her wardrobe. And I won't let you crash on my couch again when she refuses to let you in.

-Edward

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I'll try not to gush but…

------

ALICE. I just got home and it's like 2 am. If that doesn't tell you how amazing this date was, I don't know what will. For a guy to keep me out that late when I have that stupid morning class tomorrow, you know he has to be beyond amazing, right?

Here's the story, because I'm still too wired to sleep tonight. I'll hate myself in the morning, but I don't even care at this point. And I'll try to sound more like the English major I am than a 13 year old girl.

Disclaimer: Dialogue is not exact, but is close enough and may have been altered for the sake of my story.

Let's start at the beginning. He arrived promptly at 7, just as he said he would. I opened the door to see him standing there, clutching a bouquet of beautiful tulips. I'd never seen any like them before, he said they were called Variegated Tulips, because they have patches and streaks of different colors.

He also said, "I googled flower meanings. These mean beautiful eyes, and I thought of you."

Alice, I just about died and we weren't even five minutes into the date.

I thanked him and I'm sure I had that goofy grin on my face again as I put the flowers in water and we were off.

He was a perfect gentleman, opening my door for me and everything. And he just looked so happy, I couldn't help but smile, too.

"So where are you taking me?" I managed to ask.

"You'll see when we get there."

I groaned. "You don't know this about me yet, but I'm not the biggest fan of surprises."

He laughed, but I think I worried him a bit. He said, "Well, I think you'll like this one."

And not five minutes later, guess where we ended up! Seattle Aquarium! I've never been there, and he looked really pleased when I told him.

Except I noticed one thing – "Edward, it closed at 5. We can't go in now." I'm sure my face looked like someone killed my puppy, because I'd already gotten really excited about it, but he just grinned and told me not to worry.

"I have connections," he said, and then he led me to a side entrance to meet his cousin, Garrett. (And by the way, good looks must run in his family because _holy crow.)_ Garrett works with the Sixgill Shark researching there at the aquarium. Did you know there are these huge sharks right in the Sound? Remind me never to go in the water again!

But back to my story. Edward arranged with Garrett to give us an after-hours tour! Just for the two of us! Edward said he wanted to come here, but didn't want to reschedule our date because he couldn't come earlier and didn't want to postpone the whole thing. How sweet is that?

The tour was just amazing. The lights were low since it was after hours, and that just made it all the more romantic. I still got to do everything we would have if the place had been opened, and some extra things. The sea otters were absolutely_ adorable!_

But the best part was the Dome. It was at the end of the tour, so Garrett left us alone, saying he had to go, but we were welcome to stay as long we wanted, because he trusted Edward.

So we're standing in the Dome. I don't know if you've ever been there, but to stand there, in the dim lights with the water throwing reflections and all these sea creatures swimming around, and Edward standing there next to me… For a while we really did just watch the animals, but then I tried to sneak a peak at him and caught him staring at me.

I blushed, of course, and he just sort of smiled and turned to face me. My heart started racing a million miles an hour as he stepped closer to me and lightly touched the side of my face. I could see his eyes searching mine, but couldn't tell what exactly he was looking for. Then he spoke.

"I'd really like to kiss you right now," he whispered.

I could feel my cheeks burning as I replied, "I'd really like you to kiss me right now, too."

_I know._

He sort of laughed nervously, and gently kissed my forehead.

"That's not what I meant," I whispered. I don't know what it was about that place, but it felt like any sound louder than a whisper would break the moment.

"It's not what I meant either."

And then he kissed me for real. His lips were hesitant at first, but as soon as he touched me, my heart just about exploded and I kissed him back with all I had.

I'll spare you the details, but let's just say we stayed in that Dome for longer than I thought we would have.

And the date didn't end there. Oh no. But it really is almost 3am right now and I need to try to sleep. I'll finish the story during class. Or I'll give up on sleeping altogether tonight and send another email. Either way, don't worry, you'll get the rest of it.

So much love,

Bella

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I think it worked. I know it's really late and there's probably no one online, but I just can't sleep.

It went better than I could have ever imagined.

I can't thank you all enough for all your help. I couldn't have done it without you.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Burningcherubim posted:_

I'm so excited for you! And really, you did a lot of that on your own. You made all the big decisions, we just sort of helped you along.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Hey I just got in. Did you get lucky? Did you use those lines?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Of course I didn't use those lines. Did you honestly think I would?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

But you did get lucky??? Awesome!

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Yeah, I'm not dignifying that with a real response.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Ok, so I give up on sleep

-----

Really, I've been staring at the wall for the past hour and I give up. I'll grab an extra-large coffee in the morning and call it good.

So let's continue. After the aquarium, we walked along the pier, window-shopping and people-watching and just talking until it got dark. And he held my hand the entire time. This sounds so junior high of me, but it was really cute. We were just sort of walking and he kept looking down at my hands like he was prepping himself for at least five minutes before he finally just threaded his fingers through mine. And I mentioned before how nice his hands are, right? I really enjoyed that part.

He led us to Waterfront Park and we just sort of kept walking and talking. We watched the sunset and the harbor lights. It was just…perfect. I really don't have the right words at 4am, but really. Alice, I couldn't have asked for anything better.

We didn't talk about when we'd go out again, but I'll see him on the bus, and we've been texting a lot. Speaking of which, I think I might actually go over my text limit this month. I'll have to get his email or something. Maybe I'll finally get a Twitter? I'll keep you updated.

I'm starting to get drowsy, so maybe I'll give the whole sleeping thing another shot. Please don't call me as soon as you get this, I know how early you get up. Let me try to sleep for as long as possible, I'm begging you.

Ok. Sleeping now.

-Bella

***

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)  
FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)  
SUBJECT: Notes from Me****  
---------- **

**Thanks go to penelope rose and bublichka and Amethyst Jackson for looking this chapter over for me! And loads of thanks to moradae ********for her insider information on the aquarium.  
**

**My notes are at the end this time because of a couple things I wanted to mention about the chapter. **

**First, Flower Meanings!  
**

**White carnations – disdain**

**Yellow carnations - You have disappointed me; Rejection; disdain**

**Variegated (striped, splotchy) tulips – beautiful eyes**

**Second, a question for those of you who never know what to say in reviews: How do you feel about Twitter? And how do you feel about interactive fanfic twitters?  
**

**And of course, much love and thanks to everyone who reviews!  
**

**Hearts and Love,  
unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.**


	8. Chapter 8

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: OMG

-----

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

I'M CALLING YOU RIGHT NOW. ANSWER YOUR PHONE. I KNOW YOU HEAR IT RINGING.

Hearts,

Alice

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

You "think it worked"? Really? Is that all you're going to give us?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Seriously, where are all the juicy details? I mean, as soon as I got home from ANY date, I had to tell everyone everything. And then call whoever I was on the date with to make sure I got all my details right.

You should get your girl on here so we can hear her side, too.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

As retarded as the post above me sounds, it brings up a point – when are you going to tell her about this place? I mean, she has a right to know that you've been talking about her like this, right?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I can't tell her right now. She'd think I was some kind of creepy stalker or something and run away and I'd never see her again.

I will tell her. But not yet. She doesn't need to know about this right now.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

But she does need to know eventually. You can't keep this from her, you know that, right?

-

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: ISABELLA MARIE SWAN

-----

Now you're purposely not answering your phone. I know you have to be awake and heading to class right now. Ooh, are you one the bus with him? I bet you are. You little sneak. It's your one-week anniversary lol.

I don't want to text you and make you go over and drive up your phone bill, but your voicemail box is full.

So since you clearly aren't available, I guess I'll run this by you now: You still need to meet Jasper, how does dinner this Saturday sound? With both you and Edward, of course, I wouldn't steal a prime date night like that from you.

Anyway, it looks like you're going to be late again, but I know you'll check your mail as soon as you sit down, and you better reply right away. I can't wait until after class.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I refuse

-----

to tell you anything right now. _I went to sleep at 4am_. Does that mean nothing to you?

I'm too tired to type any more.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Pretty pretty please?

-----

With cherries on top? And whipped cream and sprinkles? I'm only looking out for my best friend here. I need to know everything as soon as possible.

Besides, you probably would have missed your bus if I hadn't called and woke you up. And then you would have missed your boy. So really, you should be thanking me.

So, Saturday?

Hearts,  
Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I'm too tired to argue

-----

Fine. I'll talk to Edward about Saturday and let you know.

Now go send messages to _your_ boy and let me waste my tuition while I sleep in class in peace.

-B

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I know, I know. I will tell her. I just need the right moment. It's not something I can just throw at her.

Besides, she always looks so happy when she sees me. Her face just lights up. My morning bus rides have become a thousand times more enjoyable. I don't think I've ever been so excited to see that monster on wheels turn the corner as I am when I know it means I'll be seeing her.

Like this morning. As soon as I saw her, I wanted to kiss her lips again, but had to restrict myself to her hands since I didn't want to embarrass her with public displays of affection. She blushed and kissed me quick on the cheek before confessing that she didn't sleep more than a couple hours and wanted to know if she could use my shoulder as a pillow.

Best bus ride ever.

Besides, right now, I have bigger things to worry about – my first surfing lesson is this Saturday. I have to focus on surviving that, first.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

You two sound so adorable, and I've never even met you. I really hope this works out.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_death_and_taxes posted:_

I hope it works out just based on how involved we've all become.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

So she blushes a lot, huh? I don't have any surefire lines in my vault for that one, but you could try, "Is your daddy a thief? Cuz he stole the color from the roses and put it on your cheeks."

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

What is with your lines, man? He's not going to use them. No self-respecting man would.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

I know he won't, but maybe some lurker will.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Ok, I called him

-----

He said he can do Saturday if it's kind of late. He has work and homework he said he needs to do. Will that still be ok?

-B

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Edward, dear

-----

I'm just checking in. And Emmett picked the meal last week, so it's your turn this week. I want to do the shopping today, so please let me know what you pick.

Love,

Mom

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I have another test to survive – she wants me to meet her best friend. We're going to double with her and another guy. I think her boyfriend? But my girl hasn't met the guy yet, she says it's still new.

But this is a big deal, isn't it? Meeting the best friend? Am I insane for trying to do this on the safe day as surfing for the first time?

I'm in so over my head. What if her friend doesn't like me? Does that mean the end of the line for me? They seem really close. What if I make a bad first impression? What if her friend tells her to dump me before we even sit down? What if I know the guy from some horribly awkward experience in my past and he brings it up? What if I know horrible things about him?

Help me?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas-sized posted:_

Really, you too? Small world, I'm doing the same thing this Saturday. Not the surfing, the meeting the best friend.

I wouldn't be too worried. It's clear your girl is smitten with you, what else matters?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Lollipop5678 posted:_

ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS IS A VERY BIG DEAL. MEETING THE BEST FRIEND IS LIKE ONE STEP AWAY FROM MEETING THE FAMILY.

YOU _CANNOT_ SCREW THIS UP.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Beentheredonethat posted:_

I don't think that's helping.

I also disagree, she probably just wants you to know who she's always talking about, am I right? Or maybe she was just always talking about you, and her friend wanted to meet you. Either way, this is a good thing.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Nope, I agree. You're screwed.

***

FR: Edward  
555-1912

Did you clear everything w/ Alice? Are we on for Sat?

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

Yep, everything is go. And can you email me at ciaobella(a)mymailman. com? I'm running out of texts.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Sorry

-----

Here's me. Sorry to be running up your text count. I just never want to stop talking to you.

-Edward

PS – Wow, that was really cheesy wasn't it?

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Don't worry about it

-----

If I didn't have to worry about gas money and feeding myself, I wouldn't have asked you to stop. I like hearing from you during the day. : ) And if I had the time and patience, I'd try the whole Twitter thing, but I don't think that's going to work for me. That website hates me.

And to answer your question, yes, Alice is taking care of everything. You just have to show up and be your charming self. And I'm sure Jasper is really nice, what with the way Alice is carrying on about him, so don't be nervous ok?

-Bella

PS – Haha, it was, a little bit. But it still made me smile. And I feel the same way.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I like it when you smile

-----

And I just have to say I've never enjoyed my morning bus rides as much as I have since I've met you.

And I'll admit I'm glad you're bypassing Twitter. I like hearing more than 140 characters from you.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I've been smiling a lot since I met you

-----

Even that first one when you broke your phone?

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: So have I

-----

Especially that first one. You're worth an awful lot more than a broken phone.

-Edward

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Help!

-----

He's being too adorable! Are you sure we have to come with you on Saturday? And not be by ourselves?

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Don't you dare

-----

cancel on me. I need to meet him. And you need to meet Jasper.

If you're that desperate, do something tomorrow night.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You're too sweet

-----

I know I've already claimed your Saturday night…is there any way I could steal your Friday night, too?

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I only speak the truth

-----

I wish you could. Unfortunately, my friend is calling in a favor and I have to cover his shift. I'd ask to steal your Sunday, but my family has dinner every Sunday and I don't want to subject you to that just yet. My mother is… a little overbearing. I love her, but I don't want to scare you off. I've kind of taken a liking to you.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You're making me blush

-----

Good, I've kind of taken a liking to you, too. : )

And I hate to say it, but I'm exhausted. I'll see you in the morning, right?

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Your blush is lovely, too

----

I better see you in the morning. It's the highlight of my day.

Sweet dreams, Bella.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I wanted to warn you

-----

I think your mother is on to you.

Love, Dad

***

To: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Oh no

-----

Why, what makes you say that? Did Emmett say something to her? Did _you_ say something to her?

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Dad (drcarlislecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You know your mother

-----

I didn't say anything. Somehow she just _knows_. I'm almost positive you'll be getting a call from her around lunchtime.

Good luck.

Dad

***

FR: Edward  
555-1912

Emmett, I swear you are a dead man if it's your fault Mom knows.

FR: Emmett  
555-1935

I swear, I didn't say a thing. Maybe she saw your emails to Dad?

FR: Edward  
555-1912

You mean he didn't delete those?

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I forgot to charge my phone and Dad said you wanted to talk to me

-----

And since I _know_ you're going to ask, I might as well tell you. Yes, I'm seeing the girl from last weekend. We went out on Wednesday and we're going out again tomorrow night. I meeting her, her friend, and her friend's boyfriend for dinner.

And those are all the detail you'll be getting from me at this point.

Love,

Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Oh that's WONDERFUL!

-----

I mean, I _was_ curious, of course, but I merely wanted to ask if you wanted any other sides for Sunday.

Can't you at least give your poor mother the girl's name? And you're sure she wouldn't want to come to dinner, too? I know you never bring anyone, but there's a first time for everything, right?

Love, Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Her name is Bella

-----

And that's really the end of the details. I'm not going to give you her last name because I know you and I know you know how to use Google.

And there is no way she's coming to dinner. You'll scare her away. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Love, Edward

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Somehow, it's Saturday morning and I'm off to my first lesson. Wish me luck, I'm going to need as much as I can get.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

You got your wetsuit?

And good luck, you _will _need it.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Let us know how it goes, of course. And if the instructor is hot. That's important.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

I wish I could give you pointers like last time, but I don't know anything about surfing. But I can and do wish you the best of luck!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

What if he drowns? We'd have no way of knowing.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf:_

You can't drown on your first lesson. They barely let you in the water. He has to learn to balance and stand properly first.

Besides, there's always the local news. I'm sure something like that would be in it.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Tonight

-----

I'm really excited to see you again tonight. I know it's only been a day, but it feels like a long time to me.

And so I don't freak you out, this email does have a purpose – Alice wanted me to let you know to dress nice. She got to pick the restaurant and has kind of expensive tastes. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable about being dressed properly. I don't know if only girls worry about things like that, but I thought I would let you know anyway.

And now I'm starting to babble, so I'll stop. I'll see you tonight!

-B

PS – Was today as productive as it needed to be? I know you were worried…

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: No email from you could be purpose-less.

----

I smile everytime I see your name in my inbox. And thank you for letting me know, that's one less thing I have to be nervous about.

Until tonight then,

Edward

PS – That's sweet of you to ask. I got about as much done as expected. Regardless, I'm looking forward to seeing you.

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

That…was a disaster. Completely, utterly, and totally.

I didn't stand up once. I'm so bruised and sore right now I can barely move.

And I'm meeting her and her friends in two hours.

What am I going to do?

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)  
FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)  
SUBJECT: Sorry for the delay****  
---------- **

**I know it's been longer than usual, but I've had a rough past couple weeks. Updates might be a little more sporadic from here on, for which I apologize in advance. But you know, life and all that. **

**Also, Twitter really does hate me, and I don't think I have the time or patience right now to do what I originally planned and asked about last chapter.**

**However! I did start learning how to use iMovie, and made a trailer/fanvid/whatever for this story. The link is in my profile. I'm really proud of how it turned out. :)  
**

**Thanks to bublichka for the beta. I wrote this chapter during the wee hours of the morning when I couldn't sleep, so it needed a bit more work than usual.  
**

**Hearts and Love,  
unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.**


	9. Chapter 9

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

Well you have two hours…that's enough time to shower and take a short nap. Or is the place you're meeting at far away?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I think I'm too nervous to take any kind of nap right now. And with my luck, I'd oversleep and either be really late or miss it altogether.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

And I'm guessing rescheduling is out of the question?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted: _

How about some energy drinks or something? Course, that'll make you crash later, so wait as long as you can. I hope you don't have anything important planned for tomorrow.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I'm not freaking out

-----

You'll be over here soon, right? We're all still meeting at my place? I don't know why, but I just got really nervous. I really want you to like this guy.

Also, as a side note, I think you'll approve of my outfit for once. Or you better, it's how I channeled all my nervous energy. I must have changed 15 times.

I'll see you soon

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: That's right you're not freaking out

------

Just breathe, I'm sure I'll love the guy. If he can make you as happy and giddy as you've been lately, how can I not like him? Besides, I've just got this feeling about him. And I know you'll like Jasper, so don't worry, tonight'll be fun!

I'm walking out the door, just keep breathing until I get there!

Hearts,

Alice

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf post:_

So the surfing was a complete bust, then? Are you just going to tell her what happened?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

No, I think I'm going to keep trying. I'm not going to give up that easily.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

That's the spirit! If you keep working this hard, I'm sure you'll impress her, no matter how lousy a surfer you are. Plus it keeps things interesting. Not just for you, but for us, too. I think we've all got something invested in you two now.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

So no pressure, right? Haha.

For tonight, I think you should tell her that you had a really tiring day, but you wanted to spend time with her too much to cancel. So apologise in advance, so she knows she's not boring you or something if you look tired. Plus, she'll probably think it's sweet that you want to see her.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Which would also make it super easy to work in "I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you tonight?"

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Death_and_taxes posted:_

Do you even listen to yourself anymore? I mean, seriously. What kind of people do those lines work on?

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Thanks for the advice. I'm going to finish getting ready and maybe lie down for a few minutes. Maybe get some ice.

I'll let you know how it goes as soon as I can.

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Edward's girl

------

Emmett, do you know anything more about this girl? Even her last name? Edward's being frustratingly tight-lipped. I know you were there when they first met, what does she look like? I'll take anything you can give me.

Love,

Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: RE: Edward's girl

-----

Sorry, I'm sworn to secrecy. And Edward has too much dirt on me.

-Emmett

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Alright, I'm heading out. Had a pre-dinner snack of Alieve and Red Bull, we'll see if that helps any.

Wish me luck!

***

FR: ALICE

555-9493

-

BELLA. He's CUTE. I approve.

FR: BELLA

555-3285

-

Thank you. But don't you dare try to text me once we leave my place.

FR: ALICE

555-9493

-

Fine, I'll just initiate trips to the ladies' room. : )

FR: BELLA

555-3285

-

Ok Seriously, knock it off.

FR: ALICE

555-9493

-

Jasper's on his way up, quit making out so I can come out.

FR: BELLA

555-3285

-

ALICE. I'm confiscating your phone when you get out here.

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

At the restaurant now. Girls in the bathroom. Things going well, I think. I'm not freaking out anymore.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU DON'T GET YOUR PHONE OUT AND GET ON THE BOARD IF YOU DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW YET.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Seriously. You're asking for trouble man.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

…wait.

Edward?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

You're kidding me.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

What kind of a name is Edward? What are you, 80? Or British Royalty?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Wait, what's going on??

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

You'll never believe this.

We'll explain later tonight. The girls are going to come back any minute.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Lollipop5678 posted:_

WAIT, DID YOU TWO MEET? ARE YOU THE BEST FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND?

YOU CAN'T LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THAT.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I know I just left you

-----

But are you sure you're ok? You seemed kind of out of it when I left. Did something happen? I can come back over if you need me.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Thanks, but no

-----

I can't put my finger on it, but something just felt strange. And you're sure you don't know why Jasper kept looking at Edward and me funny? Did I do something wrong? The whole time after we went on your stupid field trip, he kept looking like he was trying to decide not to laugh or to attack someone. And then Edward was just so on edge. He looked _so_ tired, but refused to leave to get some rest.

I don't know, I guess I'd just hoped it would go better than it did.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Aw, sweetie

-----

I'm sure things will turn out fine. And I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong. Just get a good night's sleep, ok? I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Hearts,

Alice

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

C'mon guys, are you going to leave us hanging all night?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Okay, here's what happened. And I'll try to be more detailed for you, ok?

The night started out pretty well. The drugs and the drink helped me resemble a living being when I showed up at her place to pick her up. The plan was for everyone to meet at her place and then drive to the restaurant together.

Her friend, A, was already there when I arrived, so I was able to get that first meeting over quickly. She seemed to approve of me. At least, that's what I think, since she left us alone for a moment, only to send my girl texts from the back room. She blushed, and wouldn't show them to me, but assured me that her friend liked me and I was safe.

Then A's boyfriend showed up, and he seemed to be a good guy, too. I felt much more relaxed after I met everyone. We chatted for a bit before leaving, during which time, my girl and I were made to tell our how-we-met story. A's boyfriend kind of looked at me funny, but I tried not to think anything of it. I figured I just didn't really fit his image of a guy that could catch a girl like that one.

However, I soon found out why he was looking at me like that. When the girls went to the restroom while we were waiting for our food, he and I were just talking and I made that post.

And yes, it is just my luck that he is Texas. He swore he wouldn't tell, and he could probably tell you about the rest of the night better than I could.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

Yeah, so it turns out our dinner date was one and the same. And I do promise, I won't tell her, but you know you've got to soon. They're both smart girls, they're going to figure out something's up. And I mean, you looked like you were on the bad end of a fight – those bruises are only going to get worse, you know.

The rest of the night passed without any more crazy coincidences. Of course, the whole time I just kept thinking about how funny this whole thing was. After dinner, we went back to his girl's apartment to watch a movie and just hang out a bit more. He got plenty cozy, I'll tell you what. I amazed you didn't fall asleep.

And that was pretty much it.

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted_

I know you'll keep it secret, and I can't thank you enough for that.

And I did drift in and out. She's just so _soft._

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

Wow. That's just incredible.

But at least they don't hate you, right?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Bad end of a fight? Geez, how bad _are_ you?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

I hate to say it, man, but I think I spoke too soon. I just got a phonecall from my girl and she said your girl is freaking out a little. You might want to give her a call or something.

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Oh no, what did I do wrong?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

I don't think you really did anything _wrong_, per se, but she's feeling a bit bummed that it didn't go as well as she'd hoped?

Just call her.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Hey there

------

You weren't answering your phone, and I hope I'm not being annoying, but I wanted to make sure everything's alright. I know tonight wasn't perfect, and I'm sorry I was so out of it. Like I said, it might have been smarter to do this another day, but I needed to see you.

If you need, I can come back over. I just want to make sure you're ok.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You're too sweet

------

I'd already turned off my phone. I kept getting calls from my Mom. I made the mistake of telling her I was introducing Alice to you, and, well, she's easily excitable. I think you can relate?

I'm sorry you were so tired, but I'll be selfish enough to say that I'm glad you didn't cancel. However, I'm not going to be selfish enough to call you back over here. You need sleep. I probably do, too.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Are you sure?

-----

Because I would be over there in a heartbeat. Or, at least, I'd leave my apartment in a heartbeat. Even as fast as I drive, I think it would still take several minutes. :)

And I wouldn't be able to sleep know that you're sad and there's even a small possibility that I could make it better.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Are YOU sure?

------

I just want a little more time with you. And _just_ you.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: (no subject)

------

I'm on my way over.

-Edward

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: Yep, still awesome.  
**

**---------- **

**I'm sorry I didn't get around to replying to each review, I'm actually out of town for my cousin's wedding and haven't had a good internet source. But I do read and love every single one. This chapter was actually written while I was riding through Wyoming. Yes, that drive from Kansas City to Salt Lake is a fun one. :) Also, thank you SO much to everyone who wished me well; things are slightly less rough, thanks to the fact that I am no longer unemployed. All your reviews and comments mean a lot to me. And thanks to everyone who's reccing this out and reading and just generally being awesome. :)  
**

**And of course, many thanks to Bublichka for checking over this so quickly for me. I wanted to post it before I hit the road again (which also means I probably won't be able to respond to reviews until I get home on Sunday.)  
**

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

Hungry_like_a_wolf posted

Did he really just leave us hanging like that?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

Squishy posted:

Looks like it. Can't say I blame him though. Who wouldn't abandon this board for his girl?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

Texas_sized posted:

I'm sure he'll update us when he gets a chance. Having met them both, I can vouch that he really does care about her, and she really is something. If anything, I'm more invested in this than ever.

However, this does present a bit of a problem. I've talked to my girl about this board a bit, and now that I know she knows everyone involved, it's kind of a tough situation. I don't want to keep secrets from her.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

BurningCherubim posted:

Be optimistic. Maybe she'll think it's romantic and help them along. I honestly think the soon you tell her, the better.

Same goes to the original poster.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Texas_sized posted:

Yeah, I agree. I know she wants her friend to be happy. I'll tell her as soon as I get a chance.

-

REPLY TO THE POST

That_boy posted:

Sorry, I'm here.

First, I agree, too. I do want to tell her, and I will. When the time is right.

Second, I know you all want to know what happened last night. I went back to her place because, as hard as this is for me to believe, she wanted and needed me.

Third, I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with her.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: So… dinner?

-----

What was up with you tonight? One minute you're grinning like the Cheshire Cat, the next like someone's drown your newborn kittens.

Rosalie suspects it all has to do with your new girl and won't leave me alone until I ask. And you can fight off Mom, but please don't make me sleep on the couch. Because that _is_ what will happen if I come back empty-handed.

-Emmett

PS – Dad's getting involved, too. Ever since you asked about Garrett, he's been getting curious. He's just not as… demonstrative as Mom is about it.

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Okay

-----

Look, just tell Rosalie that if she wants information, then to email me herself.

Things are just getting kind of complicated, and I'm really, really tired. I didn't think surfing would take this much out of me. Which I told you – and everyone else - at dinner.

Bella makes me really happy. I don't want to loose her already, thanks to a meddling family. I know you mean well, really, just leave it alone. If I want help, I'll ask for it.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Rosalie (gunsandroses(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: YOU Look, Idiot

-----

Did it ever occur to you that we don't want you to lose her either? And I think I know more about what girls are thinking than you do, so I know you need my help. And it's _killing_ Esme not to know what's going on in her son's life. Just telling her about Bella isn't going to hurt anything, it's not like Esme can do anything until you bring Bella to meet her. And for all her enthusiasm, she isn't stupid. She wants you to be happy just as much as anyone.

So cut us all some slack and let us in on your life. We're your family, after all. It's our job to be nosy and to care.

-,'-(a) Rosalie

PS – You let me know if Emmett is blaming any more nosiness on me. He wants to know just as much – if not more – than I do.

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Anon posted:

Ok, let's say this IS real. How could you possibly be in love? You've known her for what, a week? That's not love.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Lollipop5678 posted:

Stop being such a buzzkill! It's sweet!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

DRHB posted:

I know I haven't really been a part of this up to this point, but I would like to say that while it might not be love right now, it is certainly on its way. And I'm rooting for them. There is clearly a strong attraction on both sides, and love has to start somewhere.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Sparklemotion posted:

EXACTLY. If this is what he wants, I'm rooting for him, too.

-

REPLY TO THE POST

That_boy posted:

Thank you for the support.

I also did want to warn you that I'll be scarce this week. School and work have kind of fallen to the wayside, and I need to start paying more attention to them.

Luckily, I'll still be seeing her every morning on the bus, and we can email at night. Otherwise, I might just have to risk flunking out of school and living in a box by the river in order to keep her. And even though it'd be worth it, I'd prefer not to let things get that extreme. Plus, she mentioned she was starting to worry about the same things, so we have tentative plans for Saturday, but nothing until then.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Ohhh no, you don't

-----

You can't just drop something like "Oh, Edward came back and spent the night Saturday," right before class starts and expect me to let it go! I need details here!

No Hearts (until you talk),

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: It's not really any of your business

-----

That's all that happened, though! Apparently, after you called Jasper, Jasper talked to Edward, and Edward talked to me, and he came over so we could spend time together.

Nothing happened, at least not in the way I know you're thinking. I mean, yes, we fell asleep on my couch together, and yes, I probably slept better than I ever have in my whole life, and yes, I hated to say goodbye to him the next day, but that's it.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: "That's it?" Are you serious?

-----

Bella, that's fantastic! And even though I like the guy, I'm not telling you to jump into bed with him. I mean, yeah, he's great, but give me some credit here. I do have some restraint.

Just curious though, how did Jasper get Edward's number? They didn't know each other before, right?

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Edward and Jasper

-----

I don't know, I guess they figured we'd all be going out together again and exchanged numbers? They did talk together. I did ask Edward about how he knew to email me, and he looked kind of embarrassed about it before confessing he talked to Jasper. Apparently the boys gossip as much as we do.

Now seriously, let me pay attention. I'm going to fail this class if I keep up like this.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: 5 more days

-----

Is it sad that I miss you already?

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: RE: 5 more days

-----

If it is, then I'm pretty sad, too.

I think I'm ready for a study break. Call me?

-B

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

Texas_sized posted:

I told her. I'm sure she'll be registering here any minute now.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST:

BurningCherubim posted:

So it went well, I assume?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Texas_sized posted:

I'll let her speak for herself.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Fortunexcookie posted:

Ok, so I'm her. Well, Texas_sized's "her," at any rate. This name thing is going to get confusing.

But here's what happened: I knew something was up. No one can keep secrets from me, so it's a good thing Texas here didn't try for very long.

I was suspicious when I heard that Edward (you all know his name already, right?) and Texas spoke after our date on Saturday. B (Edward's girl and my best friend) told me about Edward going over there afterwards and how he'd heard from Texas that she was unhappy. Now I knew that they guys didn't trade numbers. I didn't press it with B, but I did file it away.

I brought it up with Texas and he looked guilty. I knew I'd struck something and demanded that he tell me. He confessed that he'd actually wanted to tell me something, but wasn't sure how I'd take it.

And then he showed me this place and told me that the two people everyone was talking about are Edward and B.

I think this is fantastic! At first, I was a little wary, because this _is_ my best friend we're talking about, but then I read the thread and can see you all want them to get together just as much as I do. These two need all the help they can get, and I am 100% on board.

Also, you people give me more information than I could ever get from B. She's so nervous about everything that I'm not getting any juicy details. Now it's like I have an inside source!

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Ben (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I'm impressed

-----

Wow, Edward, that girl that stopped by today? All I can say is congratulations. I was going to catch you before you left, but didn't get a chance. If that's the reason you needed me to cover your shift, anytime you need me to cover for you, just let me know. I won't let you let someone like that get away.

-Ben

***

To: Ben (bcheney(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: She's something, isn't she?

-----

Yeah, that's her. I didn't expect to see her at all this week because we're both so busy. But what a welcome surprise. And thanks for your offer, I'm doing everything I can to keep her from getting away, too.

-Edward

***

REPLY TO THE POST

That_boy posted:

You're not going to tell her, are you? She needs to hear it from me, and I swear I am going to tell her.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Fortunexcookie posted:

Of course I'm going to let you tell her.

But more importantly, did she really come see you today? That's _huge _for her. If I couldn't tell from the way she looks at you or talks about you, that right there would be my biggest clue that she really likes you. She was worrying about it to me, because she doesn't want to be one of those clingy girls, but she also misses you.

You are in a good place, my friend.

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

That_boy posted:

Thanks. And yeah, she really did come by where I work. And she has nothing to worry about, I wanted to do the same thing, and probably would have if she didn't beat me to it.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:

I think I'm going to be sick from all this sugary sweet-ness. Let's have something exciting again, ok?

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: 3 more days (even though I kind of cheated)

-----

I have good news! This was actually the reason behind my stopping by today, but I kind of completely forgot once I saw you. I was already nervous to come by, because I didn't want to seem overbearing, but that was overruled by my inability to wait until Saturday. I hope that was ok.

I think I found something that we can do this weekend! There's a big swell coming in, and if it's ok, I'd really like to spend the day with you and see you surf.

Let me know, ok? I'm working tonight, so I won't be able to answer my phone or anything until kind of late. I really hope this works out, I'm excited to see what you can do, the timing is great, and we need a reward after this week is over.

-B

***

REPLY TO THE POST

That_boy posted:

I have bad news.

She wants to go surfing this weekend.

While the idea of spending the whole day with her is heavenly, the idea of trying to surf again is hellish.

What do I do? What _can_ I do?

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: Yep, still awesome.  
**

**---------- **

**So thanks to my trip and the fact that I now have a job (yay!), I didn't get a chance to reply to any reviews, which is Fail on my part. But I did read every single one and they seriously filled me and joy and joyness. I will try to do better this time. Thanks to every one of you!**

**And of course, thanks to penelope rose for being my sounding board and bublichka for vampire-speed beta-ing.  
**

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.**


	11. Chapter 11

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

Clearly, you need to tell her! I mean, there's no way you'll be able to fake it, right?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

There's no way he can fake it after one lesson. Especially after he reported how bruised and beat up he was? No way.

Give up now and give me her number.

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I can't tell her this over the phone, she'll think I was just messing with her or something. And she's still waiting on a reply, what do I say?!

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_DRHB posted:_

I agree that this isn't something that should be discussed over the phone, but you do need to reply quickly.

Perhaps just tell her that you do want to spend the day with her and you look forward to that. Do you have time to see her before the weekend? You can tell her about the miscommunication and make alternate plans.

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

We're both really busy this week, I honestly don't know. There's only three days left, and while I would love to spend time with her, and explain everything, I know she's got a lot of schoolwork and such.

----

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Hey, I know my girl. She'll understand.

But yeah, you need to tell her in person.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I can't wait

-----

I would love to spend the day with you. And any time with you is its own reward, we don't have to do anything special.

-Edward

PS – Are you sure we have to wait three more days until I can see you again?

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Me neither

-----

And you are too sweet for your own good, but if I don't want to fail out of class or lose my job, we really need to wait until Saturday.

-B

PS – I am sorry. I wish real life would just go away. We'll just have to survive on the 7 minutes we have on the bus.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Real life is overrated anyway

---

Just two more days.

-E

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

Have you told her yet? Tomorrow is the big day.

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

No, I haven't. And I'm picking her up at 8 tomorrow morning.

Is there really no chance of me actually surfing?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Do you not remember how dead you were last week?

No. Chance.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

You might not have any chance of surfing, but you still have some hope. Hit her with one of these:

-There are 30 million grains of sand on this beach, but there's only one you.

-Can I borrow your sunglasses? You're blinding me.

-Let me be your towel. You can lie on me and use me to dry off.

You've got to use one of my lines sooner or later.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

…Really? Are you still trying that? He's not going to do it.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

10 bucks says he drowns trying to impress her.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

At least we have a way of knowing now, right? Texas and his cookie girl can fill us in if anything fatal happens.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

I think it's sweet that he's trying so hard.

I hope you don't die.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Tomorrow's the big day, huh?

----

Do you need any more help getting things ready? You packed the sunscreen? I know the forecast said it's going to be sunny. I don't believe it for one second, but I also don't want you to look like a poor lobster on the off-chance I'm wrong. And you packed the cute green suit, right? Not that pink one with the ties that always malfunction? Because as fun as that could be, I don't think you want to flash the entire beach. Again.

I know, I know, I'm not bringing that up again, I swear. I'm just looking out for you. Call me if you need anything, seriously.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You SWORE

-----

never to mention that incident again. On your Jimmy Choos, I might add.

Looks like I just got a new pair of shoes.

And you're making me even more nervous. Are you anticipating this going so badly that I'll need to call you for moral support?

-B

PS – And no, I'm not kidding about the shoes.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I was only kidding around

-----

And it's not like anyone was around to overhear it. Unless Edward's there, looking over your shoulder. Is he? Because that's your own fault.

And no, I'm _not_, anticipating this going that badly, I'm just being a good friend! A good friend who doesn't threaten other people's shoes.

Hearts,

Alice

PS – And if you really are serious about taking my shoes, then I have nothing to stop me from accidentally mentioning said incident to Edward.

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

This might seem really, really random, but ask her about her old pink swimsuit. It's a great story, let me tell you. It'll be a great way to get conversation going for the trip.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Are you going to share this great story with the class?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

You called me a cookie girl. So, no.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: No, he's not here

-----

But if I were at home, you can bet I wouldn't be wasting my time checking my email.

I'm at work again, stealing internet off Mike's phone. The store's absolutely dead tonight, but bossman won't let me leave.

And I'll overlook this just this once. Besides, your shoes don't fit me, you know that. (But don't think I'll let that stop me from taking them if you ever do tell him.)

Fifteen minutes 'til closing. And just my luck, I think I hear slightly intoxicated teenagers coming in. This will be great fun. Wish me luck getting out of here in less than an hour.

-B

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

You'll tell me later, though, right?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted_

…only because I need you to not tell her I mentioned it. On pain of me losing my Jimmy Choos.

***

FR:BELLA  
555-3285

Alice, I think you jinxed me. Call me when you get a chance

FR:ALICE  
555-9493

Oh no…are you ok? Do you need me right now? I'm out with Jasper, but he'd understand

FR:BELLA  
555-3285

I'm fine now, don't let me interrupt, just call me when you get home for Storytime With Bella Swan.

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Just letting you all know I survived. Both the surfing and the truth. I'll type up the whole story in a minute, I only just got home and have a couple other things I need to do. Plus, it's long, and I know you are not patient people.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Not patient? How rude.

Now spill, please. I need to know everything.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Ah. Still alive. Damn it.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: In Writing

-----

I was serious about what I said earlier. I want you to have it in writing that I will never lie to you again, unintentionally or otherwise. I can't say it enough – I was stupid, and I'm never doing that again. I care about you too much to lose you like that. Assuming you still want me around, I'll be here.

-E

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Okay. I'll try to do my best to tell you everything that happened.

As you probably figured out, I didn't have a chance to tell her before the big day. I thought maybe I could tell her during the car ride, but…that didn't really happen either. Which I realize might be kind of hard to believe considering how long that drive was, but there you go.

Sorry, I'm not telling this very well, let me start over.

I showed up in the morning on her doorstep at 8:00 on the dot, nervous, but excited to see her. When she opened the door, her face lit up and she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me in close for a tight hug, which I quite happily reciprocated.

"I missed you, as pathetic as that might make me, considering it's only been three days," she whispered.

My stomach muscles clenched in anticipation and I confessed that if that made her pathetic, than I was a hopeless cause. She pulled away too soon, still grinning, "Are you ready to hit the beach?"

Flashes of my body doing just that – hitting the beach, over and over again – the previous week made me grimace. My bruises were still visible. Luckily, her back was facing me as she reached for her bag and didn't see my sour expression.

I thought that was my chance then, to tell her I had a confession to make. That way if she wanted to cancel the whole date and never see me again, she still had that option, as much as I hated to even consider that option.

But just as I finally gathered the courage to open my mouth, she turned around and looked at me with those big brown eyes and I couldn't speak.

And then her roommate shouted at us through her door to get a move on and get out of there, because "It is Saturday and eight in the freaking morning and no sane person should be awake right now!"

Before I knew it, we were in the car and on the road. I was driving, and conversation flowed easily as she asked about my week and talked about hers. I couldn't bring it up then, because then she'd be trapped in a car with me for hours. So instead, I prayed for a miracle and kept driving, with no idea of what I would do when we reached the beach.

I started getting very tense and distracted, wasting precious time with her as I ran through different scenarios in my head. Maybe the roads would be closed. Maybe there would be no more boards to rent. Maybe a lightning storm would hit at just the right moment, closing down the beach. Maybe I'd trip in some kid's sand moat and twist my ankle.

But, of course, none of these things happened, and we parked along the crowded boardwalk.

I stared at the ocean with dread, and I knew it was time.

When she realized I wasn't following her, she turned around, calling my name. She saw my stricken expression and said my name again, her voice and face holding more concern than I deserved. The following conversation is etched in my memory like it was carved in my skin.

My heart pounded as I tried to think how to start, how to form the words without losing her. I must have looked like a fish, opening and closing my mouth like that, with no words coming out.

She walked back towards me and lightly placed her hand on my face, and repeated my name one more time.

I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I lied to you," I blurted out.

She blinked and pulled her hand back. "What?"

"I can't surf. At all," I finally confessed in a rush of words. "When you first asked me what I liked to do, and I said surf, I meant to say surf the web. But you just looked so excited," I pleaded with her, trying to get her to understand, "that I couldn't correct you. I thought maybe I could learn fast enough that I wouldn't have to say anything. I started taken lessons last week. I was horrible at it."

Pulling further away, she blinked again and looked down, then said softly, almost to herself, "Those bruises?"

"I can't even stand up. And as much as I wish I could go out there today and be amazing, I know I'd only fall down and make a fool of myself, at best. At worst, drown, trying to impress you. And while you would be worth it, I don't want to drown."

She laughed once, weakly, and kept her eyes down. "I don't want you to drown either."

I needed her to look at me. I murmured her named and placed my hand under her chin, tilting her face up towards me. "Please. I'm so sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I didn't mean to deceive you. Forgive me?"

Suddenly she started laughing, really laughing, her eyes twinkling. She began laughing so hard that she held on to my arms for support and I couldn't do anything but stare at her in immense confusion. I'd just confessed that I'd lied to her, and she was _laughing_ at me?

She finally caught her breath and looked me in the eye. "Of course I forgive you, you silly boy. It was just a stupid misunderstanding that was as much my fault as it was yours." She kissed me lightly on the lips and I was suddenly much more optimistic about this beach day.

"Really?" I said.

"Of course. Just… next time, say something sooner, ok? I feel bad…Is that why you were so quiet during the drive?" I nodded and she frowned. "Don't do that again," she scolded, "You need to talk to me, ok?"

"I'll never lie to you again." I vowed.

She laughed. "I won't hold you to that, because I know that's inhuman. Just don't lie about big stuff, ok?"

The thought crossed my mind to tell her about the board, too, and clear the air of everything.

She, however, was determined to get to the beach and grabbed my hand, pulling me along. "Now let's have fun. Show me how bad you are and I'll try to give you some pointers. And no drowning allowed," she laughed again, and the moment passed.

And that was all the important stuff, I won't bored you with the details of anything else that happened. I'll just say that the rest of the day was perfect. I acquired a few more bruises, but this time, I had _her_ to massage my sore muscles and laugh with. And she fell asleep on my shoulder on the way home.

All in all, it was a good day.

I hope I've been detailed enough for you this time. I'm utterly exhausted now, and am going to bed before I collapse on my keyboard.

Goodnight.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

So, you didn't drown, and she still likes you?

Life is unfair. There is no way I would've been able to pull that one off. Congratulations. You two better end up together, that's all I have to say.

_---_

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Lollipop5678 posted:_

Shut up, wolf. Clearly, it's fate.

It's sweet and cute, and I am totally addicted to your life now. And it's probably safe to say the rest of us are, too. : )

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: Who wants to massage txtward's muscles?  
**

**---------- **

**So how was that? I still get a bunch of questions asking if I'm ever going to do anything other than emails and posts, and the answer is no. But, I do kind of work in some narrative in my posts. So you get a little of that, still. Did that work for you all? **

**As always, thank you SO much for all your reviews. Even if I don't reply, I do read and appreciate each one. **

**Thanks again to bublichka for her beta work. **

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.**


	12. Chapter 12

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Geez, dramatic much? We wanted more detail than "I think it went well" or whatever you said last time, not a novella.

Also, "carved into my skin"?

…Seriously?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Well _I_, for one, appreciate the detailed story-telling.

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I can't win, can I?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Oh, I knew I would be happy I learned about this place. You gave me soooo much more than she did, despite promises of Storytime.

And I can tell you that she's over it. She's really not one to hold a grudge. If she says things are okay, things are okay.

But… you really do need to tell her about this place. I can also tell you that she won't be too happy with you if she finds out you're keeping something from her.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I don't need a formal contract

---

I know you're serious, Edward. I think we're at the point where I can take your word for it and trust you. Right?

And I still very much want you around.

How about tonight?

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I didn't want to take any chances

---

I'd also very much like to be around you tonight. I'll see what I can do and call you, ok?

-Edward

PS – I think we're at that point, too.

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Dinner

---

Would you be horribly offended if I backed out of dinner tonight? And would it help if I said it was for a good cause?

Love,

Edward

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Death_and_taxes posted:_

Ok, so what's next?

-

REPLY TO THE POST:

_That_boy posted:_

Well, I found out that her birthday was actually only a couple weeks ago, so I wanted to do something special to celebrate it this weekend, since I missed it.

I have a couple things in mind:

For a gift, I figure I can't go wrong with jewelry, so I've been looking around for something that would be meaningful. I haven't found exactly what I'm looking for just yet, but I'll let you know when I do. (Any input from those who know her would be appreciated.)

For the date, I thought we'd try whale-watching, maybe? She really liked the aquarium, and my cousin (the one who got us in after-hours) recommended this touring company called Eclipse. They're based not too far from Seattle, and we could easily make a day trip out of it. We enjoy just talking to one another, and who doesn't want to see whales in their natural habitat?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_DRHB posted:_

I've taken my wife on something like that, and she loved it.

Make sure you bring along a jacket, it gets pretty chilly, and body heat can only compensate for so much.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Yeah, and bring an extra one for her! Because, you know, that's just lame if you're all warm and she's not. Or if you pretend to be macho, and not put your jacket on, but don't share it either? Yeah, that's not cool, either.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Horribly, HORRIBLY Offended

-----

Why can't you just invite her to come, too? And don't look at me that way, of course there's a "her." You know I'm _dying_ to meet her.

I could always send Emmett to kidnap the pair of you. Don't think I won't.

All joking aside, you both have to eat, and I don't think she'd be the type of girl to keep you from your family, right? It won't be any grand event, just a simply dinner with the family.

Please consider it. And be here at six.

Love you,

Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Don't try to guilt me into this

-----

I think we're just going to have a peaceful evening at my apartment. I promise I won't miss next week and you _will_ meet her soon, ok?

Love,

Edward

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

Texas_sized posted:

I'm glad to hear your surfing expedition worked out, and I think your next idea sounds cool.

However, when are you going to tell her about this place? I know we've mentioned it before, but it could be a big deal. It's starting to make me wonder how much you really care about her. If you like her as much as you say you do, and as much as I think you do, this has got to be eating you alive.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Clearly, he doesn't care. We've talked about this before, he missed his chance, it's too late now, case closed, let's all move on with our lives, yes?

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I know, and you're right. I'm going to try to tell her again tonight. It'll be just us, and we're just staying at my place.

Because I don't think I simply "like" her anymore. I think I might be closer to something more.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Whoa. This is getting serious!

Are you going to tell her that tonight, too? Because you might want to wait a little bit, you guys have only been going out a couple weeks, right?

Because it is REALLY not cool if you say it and don't mean it.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Aaaand no one listens to me. Fine.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_That_boy posted:_

I know. And I wasn't planning on telling her tonight, I don't want to scare her away. And I want to see how she takes the board news, too.

But does it really matter how little time it's been? I mean, it happens when it happens, there aren't any real rules or timelines when it comes to these sort of things.

And besides, I don't know if I'm all the way _there_ yet, either. I was just commenting on what Texas said. If I was all the way _there_, I would tell her first.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_DRHB posted:_

While it's true that there aren't really any rules to loving someone, and love can happen in an instant, it doesn't mean that it is something to be taken lightly.

-

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

I understand.

And anyway, we might all be getting way ahead of ourselves. After I talk to her tonight, who knows what she'll want.

As always, I'll let you know how it goes, and wish me luck!

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Well, when you do actually tell her, you've got to do it right.

Allow me to give you a couple examples:

-You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me.

-Are you a kleptomaniac-or did you steal my heart on purpose?

- You are the reason men fall in love.

-I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by my love for you.

-I can't wait until tomorrow, because I fall more in love with you every day.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Does anybody else just skip over SmoothCriminal's posts at this point, or is that just me?

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

I still read them, I think they're funny. And they remind me of someone I used to know…

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Hey Sparkles, how you doin'? ;) Stop, drop, and roll, baby, because you are on fire.

-

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Aaaand now I'm skipping over his posts.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Even though I'll see you in a few hours…

-----

I can't look at my textbooks another minute. How's your day been so far? As you can probably guess, mine's been full of book and notes.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You can email, call, or text me any time

------

My day's been about the same. Nothing too terribly exciting. That part comes tonight. 

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Oh really?

-----

What terribly exciting thing do you have going on tonight? Should I be jealous? Or scared? Haha.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Yes really

------

I should hope you're excited, too. A nice relaxing night, without a wave or surfboard in sight.

Now, if I know you at all, I'd say you still have some work to do. Otherwise you would have called me instead of emailing, am I right? And as much as I love that you're using me as a distraction and/or procrastination method, you should go get that done so you don't have to worry about it tonight, ok?

I'll see you soon,

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: How do you know me so well already?

-----

You're right, of course. On all counts. You are ridiculously distracting, I'll have you know.

But fine. I'll get to work.

-B

***

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I need you to call me

-----

I have a favor to ask you. And I think you'll enjoy performing this particular task.

Call me!

Love,

Mom

***

FR: Emmett  
555-1935

Edward, you made a mistake, buddy boy. Make sure you're presentable, and I'll see you in about ten minutes.

FR: Edward  
555-1912

What mistake? And I am definitely NOT seeing you tonight.

FR: Emmett  
555-1935

You told Mom where you'll be tonight. And she recruited me to come kidnap you two.

FR: Edward  
555-1912

Just tell her no!

FR: Emmett  
555-1935

And miss out on a chance to kidnap my little brother and his little girlfriend? Yeah right!

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: FREAKING OUT NOW

-----

I AM NOT TURNING THE CAPS LOCK OFF. I COMMENDEERED EDWARD'S PHONE, AS WE ARE ON THE WAY TO HIS PARENTS' HOUSE RIGHT. NOW.

I NEED POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.

HELP!

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Wait, WHAT

-----

What are you doing going to their house now?? Did you know about this?? Why did I _not_ know about this?

And because I don't know how much time you'll have, reinforcement: They'll love you, you have nothing to worry about.

And just text me and I'll call with an "emergency" or come get you or something.

You'll be wonderful!

Hearts,

Alice

PS – Call me as soon as you can!

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Still in panic mode

-----

Apparently Edward's family has dinner together every Sunday, and he was going to skip out to spend time with me tonight, but his brother Emmett wasn't about to let that happen and actually came _and kidnapped us_. Not even joking, bodily force was involved.

I'll have to give you the whole story later, we're here. Ahhhh!

-B

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: Sorry for the wait  
**

**---------- **

**And sorry it's a bit shorter, but I hope you're still enjoying this. I didn't have time to reply to everyone, but I wish I did. I'm working a lot now, and I just got my notice to start paying off my student loans. So that's fun. **

**But really, thank you all so much for being so awesome! I have some fantastic readers, that's for sure. And of course, thanks to bublichka for helping me out. This chapter was oddly frustrating. **

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers and phones.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted: _

Ok, so I'm updating everyone on our favorite couple's behalf. Tonight's peaceful plan of just relaxing on home? Yeah, cancel that and replace it with his older brother _kidnapping_ them for family dinner. Physical force was involved. This is all I know.

I demand an explanation.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Death_and_taxes posted:_

_  
_Wow, now we're adding kidnapping? Are we sure this is real life?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

FINALLY, someone on my side.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

I still think it's real. I've known some moms to be pretty insane.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Wow, this guy really can't catch a break, can he?

***

FR: EDWARD  
555-1912

-

You are so dead.

FR: EMMETT  
555-1935

-

Stop being a baby and say it to me like a man, not by texting me under the table.

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

-

Alice. Just kill me now, please.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

-

What is going on? I'm dying over here! And the emergency call offer is still good you know.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

-

I think that would only make things worse. I'm going to die of embarrassment before the night is over.

FR: ALICE  
555-9493

-

Oh no. You call me as soon as possible, ok? Also, Jasper will beat someone up for you if you want.

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

I don't know how things are going, but it doesn't sound good. I'm getting texts from her, and they're making me nervous. Apparently that_boy's mom is going to embarrass her to death.

Argh, I don't like not knowing what is going on!!

***

FR: EDWARD  
555-1912

-

I am really, really sorry. Please come back out here. I promise we can leave now.

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

-

Can you sneak me out the back or something? Please?

FR: EDWARD  
555-1912

-

Sorry, my mom's too smart for me to get away with that. You just have to say goodbye and I'll do the rest.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I've survived

---

But I don't want to relive that right now. Can I just call you in the morning? Or tell you in class? I need to recuperate.

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Of course, sweetie

---

I'm assuming you're with Edward, right? And that he'll hog you for the rest of the night? Or can I get the details from him?

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You assume correctly

---

And I'm not going to let you harass him, either. Leave him alone, ok? You barely know him, and I think he's been traumatized enough for one day.

-B

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Alright, we're out of luck until the morning. She doesn't want to relive it right now, and I've been given orders to leave them alone. Maybe that_boy will get online when he leaves? Ugh, I seriously need to know.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_DRHB posted:_

I hope they weren't scarred for life. A mother's …affection can be a scary thing.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted: _

I bet it was one epic family dinner. And that brother guy sounds pretty hot. I bet he's really strong. :D

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

You want strong? Well stand still so I can pick you up!

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted: _

No.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Still alive?

-----

You ready to face Monday? After last night, I think you'll be ready for anything.

Just remember, this weekend we'll be out of the city, and they won't be able to get to us.

-Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Yeah, still here

----

I guess I have to, don't I? At least I'll get to see you. And I have a great How I Met the Parents story now, right?

-B

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: That's the spirit

-----

Plus, she loves you already, regardless of how last night went. She called me early this morning to gush about how great you were and to scold me for not letting her meet you earlier. And I think there was an apology for "if she came on too strong" that I'm pretty sure my Dad put her up to.

At any rate, I'll see you soon.

-Edward

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Alright, ladies and gents, I got the scoop. And since Edward is taking his sweet time, it's up to me to fill you all in. B told me the story after our class this morning.

As you know, she and Edward were planning on spending a quiet night at his apartment. Alas, it was not to be. Edward got some texts that put him on edge a little, but didn't tell B what they said, claiming it was just his brother being a nuisance. Then, not a half hour after she got there, his brother comes pounding on the door.

At first, Edward refuses to open the door, but his brother just threatens to break it down. And he's a big guy and could totally do it, too, so Edward reluctantly let him in.

B reports that his brother said, "Nice to see you again. I've been instructed to pick you up for dinner." Then he just grinned and literally _picked her up. _

Edward shouted at him and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing, and his brother, with B slung over his shoulder, just shrugged and said he was following orders.

Well, then he left and Edward had no choice but to follow them down to the car. Meanwhile B is already embarrassed out of her mind and a bit angry at being carried out, but can't get away because Edward's brother is too big and too strong for her to fight off. She told me she's planning on investing in some pepper spray, which is actually probably a good thing.

But anyway, on the car ride over, she texted me and that was when I alerted all of you. She was pretty much freaking out, but there wasn't really anything for her to do but go through with it at this point. And she said Edward was staring daggers at and threatening his brother the whole ride over, and that made her feel a little better.

So they finally get to the house, and apparently Mr. Internet Poster's parents are well off. B said the house was beautiful and huge and hugely intimidating. By this time, Edward's brother let her walk on her own, and Edward held her hand in support (aww, good job) as they walked up to the door.

His parents were there right away, of course, and greeted her enthusiastically. His mom gave her a hug and everything, and started talking right away about how excited she was to meet B.

The evening progresses in a fairly normal fashion and B said she was starting to relax.

Cue the questioning and the awkwardness. Some of the questions B said she was asked included:

~How many kids she wanted

~Her dress size

~How many guys she dated before Edward

~The appropriate length of an engagement

Yeah. I couldn't believe it either. Edward, seriously, what happened there? Apparently this was all before a dish was even served! How did you just sit by and let this happen to her? The only explanation I got from B was that your brother was keeping you busy/distracted.

Anyway, then they went on to the actual meal, and B had the attention off of her for a little bit, much to her relief, as Mother Dearest caught up with Edward's brother's wife.

Blah blah blah, that part was boring, so we can skip to dessert. B wanted to do something that made her looks good, plus my girl has manners, so she offered to help serve and bring out the huge cheesecake (that made my mouth water just thinking about it…strawberries and cheesecake. Mmm, yummy. Sorry, I digress.)

Now, my poor B is a little…spastic when it comes to multitasking things like walking and carrying something. I don't know what it is, but I thought she grew out of tripping over her own shoelaces when she traded sneakers for flats. Apparently I was mistaken.

Poor thing not only tripped while carrying two plates of cheesecake, she broke her fall with her boyfriend's mother's chest – and then as she backed up, trying to apologize, she backed right into her boyfriend, who was _also_ carrying two plates! She ended up with strawberry goo and cheesecake goodness all over her top and with her butt on the floor.

Now, she's completely horrified and does what any sane person would do and flees to the bathroom, claiming to get cleaned up real quick, when actually thinking that locking herself in there and never coming out again sounds like a fantastic idea.

Edward finally comes to his senses and realizes it's very much time for them to go and coaxes B out of the bathroom. His mom is actually really sweet about the whole thing and tells B not to worry about it (she'd completely changed clothes by the time B resurfaced). Then of course, she launched the story about when she met _her_ husband's parents for the first time (no lie, emphasis on the "her"). Said husband was an angel and bid farewell to B, cutting his wife off, and telling her it was a pleasure to meet her, even if the meeting was a bit unconventional.

And that's pretty much it, I think.

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Bella and dinner

-----

I forgot to ask you when I called earlier, but is Bella going to be a regular guest now? I need to know for future meal planning purposes, you know, so I can make enough and set enough plates.

Love,

Mom

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Are you serious?

-----

I'll be amazed if she ever willingly comes over again after last night. We need to discuss personal boundaries again, don't we?

But I am glad you like her, all things considered. She is pretty amazing.

-Edward

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Wow. Way to leave your girl in the lurch there, buddy. Good thing I don't know where you live or I'd have to come beat you up for putting her through that.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted: _

What, no more details about the hot brother? Boring.

I think she handled it like a champ, though. She pretty much has my stamp of approval. Not that a complete stranger's approval matters or anything, but you know. Whatever. :D

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Ok, let me defend myself here. While my mom was attacking her, my brother and his wife were attacking me. I was trying to cover all sides, but I was completely overwhelmed. My brother is an idiot and kept making all these innuendos and I didn't even know what to do with my mother. Usually my dad can keep her crazy side in check, but he seemed just as eager to meet her. He just remembered how to act like a normal human being.

I was caught off guard and have no good excuse for not protecting her from my family. But she's already moved on, because that's how amazing she is, so let's all do the same.

I found this really cool bracelet that I decided would be my gift for her on Saturday. It's red and silver kind of braided together? Whatever you call that. And I thought it was appropriate seeing as this board – The Red Strings of Fate – brought us together and all. And before you all get started, then, if I can work myself up to do it, I will tell her everything.

And that's pretty much that. Until this weekend…

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

I still think you're a douche.

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: WE PASSED 500 REVIEWS~  
**

**---------- **

**I was so, so excited about that. This is my first fic to reach that many, and then, Love Is Watching Someone Die got there just a couple days later! So that was amazing. Thank you all so much!**

**Sorry for the delay again, I had some serious real life issues going on. I think things are settled down a bit now, so the next updates shouldn't be so far apart. Plus I want to finish before November because I'm doing NaNoWriMo. :D**

**Thanks again to all those who review, and of course to bublichka for her speed beta-ing skills.  
**

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Lollipop5678 posted:_

Okay, someone tell me what the big deal is about telling her. So he was talking about her, shouldn't she be flattered? I mean, I'd think it was really sweet that he was going to all this trouble.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

I kind of have to agree. But I can also see how she might get mad about talking about her _on the internet_. Some people are more personal and don't like the world knowing everything about them.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

But we hardly know anything about her. We don't even know her name.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

But you do know _his_ name. And location. And how they met. And every little step of their date escapades. It really wouldn't be hard to track them down.

I bet I could do it. }:]

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

Plus we also now have one of her most embarrassing moments on record. I don't know her _that_ well, but I know that she wouldn't like that.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Yeah, she definitely needs to know. And if Edward doesn't get his rear in gear, I've half a mind to tell her myself. It would've been no big deal if he told her from the start, but now it's gotten a bit out of control. B's a very private person.

Plus there's that whole thing with the surfing/not really surfing, and Edward swore to never hide anything from her or whatever it was, right? B might think Edward was lying to her all along or playing her or something. Her brain works in funny ways sometimes.

And actually, I should probably stop posting here until she knows. Of course I want her to be happy, and I know Edward is perfect for her, but it is _her_ life and she gets mad when I interfere. So I'd probably be making things worse right now.

So how about we just let the thread rest until Edward's had a chance to talk to her?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

That's no fun.

But I do have my side project now, so at least I'll have something to do.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

One more thing:

Please don't stalk my best friend.

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Thanks for the support. And yes, Fortunecookie kind of explained the big deal. She is a private person, and I don't want her to feel like I'm exploiting her in any way. Or lying to her. I don't know which one is worse. Plus I know that I'll personally feel a lot better when it's all out in the open.

So the next time I talk to you, it'll all be over. Cross your fingers.

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

-

Grocery shopping. Wish you were here to reach those stupid cookies on the top shelf.

***

FR: EDWARD  
555-1912

-

Saw the sunrise. Imagining you here with me made the unearthly hour bearable.

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

-

That silly song is on the radio again. Every song is reminding me of you. Is it the weekend yet?

***

FR: EDWARD  
555-1912

-

I love having surprise visitors at work. :)

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

-

Believe me, visitors love surprising you at work.

***

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Why am I so nervous about tomorrow?

-----

I've been waiting all week for it to be Saturday, and now that it's just about here, I'm suddenly freaking out. Has Edward talked to you at all about his plans? You're not all planning any big surprise party are you? You know that I will kill you if you do, right?

-B

***

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You're being silly

-----

I'm sure it's just because you haven't been able to spend much time alone with him. And I swear we have no surprise party planned. I wouldn't do that to you, sweetie, especially after knowing you for so long. And after what happened on your 18th, which we Do Not Speak Of.

And _especially _not when you have the option of spending romantic goodtimes with a guy like Edward.

I'm sure what he has up his sleeves will be fantastic. Just do me a favor and keep breathing, ok? And don't assume anything, it'll just make you worry more. And that'll give you wrinkles.

Hearts,

Alice

***

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I'm sure you're right

------

I probably am just being silly. He's pretty much perfect, right?

Ok, I'm going to finish up this last paragraph on that stupid essay for Monday, and then I'm going to call it a night. I know, I know, I'm an old lady for going to bed so early on a Friday night, but Edward's working, and all this anxiety is wearing me out. I want to be well rested tomorrow.

-B

***

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Nobody's perfect

-----

He might seem close to perfect to you, but remember he's still human. If he does do something… unexpected, just give him a chance, ok? I know he promised you he'd never let you down or whatever, but that's ridiculous. That boy is going to make a mistake sooner or later, so just remember that and you'll be good to go.

And how are you possibly on the last paragraph already? Overachiever.

Hearts,

Alice

***

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: You're getting too deep for an email

-----

I don't want to spend me entire Sunday hunched over a computer like _some_ people.

I call you later.

-B

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Okay, we've all been good. And they should be well into their date by now, and I haven't received any distress signals, so that's a good sign. Maybe we were getting worked up over nothing after all.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

This is so anti-climatic. And I've been bored to death all week. Nothing as exciting as this is actually happening in my life. And that's just depressing.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

Wait, they went whale-watching right? Maybe a whale attacked their boat and they all died.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Stop being so morbid. It's a long drive, give them time to get home. Or, you know, not get home, should they get distracted.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

I don't think he has it in him to "get distracted."

You and me, though…baby, you're like a disco ball you're so shiny, I could be distracted by you all night long.

----

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Ok, you do realize you have no idea who I am or what I look like, right? I could be a dude just playing around for all you know.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Lollipop5678 posted:_

Now that's a guy I would consider going out with.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_DRHB posted:_

Back to the subject at hand, is there any way of knowing if Edward's girl knows about this board now? I'm very curious to see how she's taking the news.

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Yeah, I was freaking out over nothing

----

We're driving home now and I'm on Edward's phone. Just wanted to tell you that today was amazing and it really couldn't have gone better. The scenery was beautiful and he gave me this beautiful bracelet with such and beautiful back story and I'm rambling and saying beautiful too many times but I don't care. I'll have to have him write the saying down or look it up, but he told me about something called Red Strings of Fate, these strings that tie people together two people who are destined to be soulmates. And then he gave me this red bracelet and told me that he thinks I'm his soulmate! It was seriously the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

It was so nice to spend so much time with him, and he was so adorably nervous about giving me the bracelet. He said it really means a lot to him, and that he needs to tell me the whole story sometime. He probably would have told me then, but we actually saw some whales right then! If you'll allow me one more use of the word, they were so beautiful! We watched them for a long time, and then we never got back to his story and I didn't even think about it until recapping everything right now.

Anyway, he's back from the rest-stop and I've got to go. I'll call you when I get a chance! Love ya~

-B

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Coincidentally, I just heard from B, and she sounds very happy. I guess things went well? But I can't tell if there was any board discussion. He obviously mentioned the name, but I don't know if that was talking about the actual thing or the board.

I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. She said she was going to google red strings of fate, so she'll probably stumble upon this place sooner or later.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Texas_sized posted:_

I guess only time will tell, then.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Ciaoxbella posted:_

Wait… Edward? And Alice? And Jasper, too? Who all is on here, discussing my personal life??

Actually, no, nevermind. I don't want to know. I hope you got your entertainment fix or dose of reality TV or whatever you were after from my life.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted: _

Uh-oh, that didn't sound good.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

What are you talking about, this is great! Grab some popcorn and settle down for a show.

I wish I could post gifs on this board. Lame text-only thing.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_That_boy posted:_

Oh ****.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted: _

And it censors, too? This is ridiculous.

----

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

I think there are bigger things to worry about. She didn't sound too happy.

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

She won't pick up her phone. Alice, will she talk to you at all?

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

No, she won't pick up for me, either. You should probably go over there and try to talk to her in person.

***

FR: EDWARD

555-1912

-

Bella, please. Just talk to me. I can explain, as cliché as that sounds.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Bella, please don't run away from us

-----

I can understand if you're angry or hurt, but please talk to one of us. I don't care if it's me or Edward, or Edward's mom even, if she could help. But you're acting like a child. Where's the Bella that was ecstatic just hours ago over her_ soulmate_ declaring his love for her?

I'm going to give you a little space now. But not for long, and not if you're just going to use it to sulk.

Always hearts,

Alice

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I made another mistake

------

I'll stand out here all night if I have to, but Bella, please listen to me. I meant every word I ever said to you. This wasn't just some game or means of entertainment to me. I've gotten to really know you, and to really care about you. And I know that despite the fact you're upset right now, you can't ignore the New Mail chime. I know that you're sitting there, as you read this, biting your lip, and fiddling with a curl of hair, like you always do when you're anxious about something. You probably didn't even realize you were doing it.

Bella, I'm not perfect. I'm going to make mistakes. You know this better than anyone. But I don't regret going on that board. Without it, I never would have had the courage to talk to you. I never would have been able to get anywhere in a relationship with you. You don't realize how intimidating you are – you're so beautiful and so sweet. You're so everything I ever wanted. Please tell me I didn't ruin this forever?

Love,

Edward

***

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

She refuses to talk to me, in any form.

I've also been informed that both my brother and my father are on this board.

I don't know what to do anymore.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Death_and_taxes posted:_

Ok, I can see why she'd be mad. Does _everyone_ she knows also know everything about her dating life? Because that honestly sucks.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:_

Hey Anon, did you ever track them down? Because I think I need to beat someone up now for upsetting her.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

Wow.

Maybe…she just needs some time and space to cool down. It was kind of a big thing to throw at her, that a bunch of strangers all know and influenced her personal business.

***

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

-

Please go home. You're going to get sick if you sit out there all night.

FR: EDWARD  
555-1912

-

Not until I talk to you. Did you get my message?

FR: BELLA  
555-3285

-

I got your email. And your voice message. Please, just go home. I can't do this tonight.

FR: EDWARD  
555-1912

-

I'm not giving up on you.

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

Hey, Edward's brother, whoever you are, I just got a call from B. It was very short and she's still angry, so I wouldn't try talking to her, but she told me Edward refuses to go home. He's just sitting outside her door like a lost, sad little puppy. She needs you to put your muscles to good use and carry him off, and says you owe her.

Which, you do. I still can't believe you carried _her _off.

***

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000(a)mymailman. com)

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Look I know you're pissed at me

----

But I can tell you right now that stalking her from her doorstep isn't going to endear you to Bella any more. And that it was no excuse for you to key my car when I dropped you off back at your place.

I think that chick on the board is right – just give her some time and space. When I gave you the name and address to that place, I didn't honestly think you'd use it or that anything would happen with what was just some girl you saved on the bus. And I probably should have let you know I was registered, but I was doing what brothers do and just messing with you. But I can honestly see how much you care about Bella, and I care about her, too. I don't want you to screw this up either.

I won't tell Mom about what's happened. We both know she'd freak out and try to help and inevitably make things worse. I'll talk to Dad for you, too.

Rose knows, though. Her advice is to sleep on it. Things will look better in the morning. I'm also forced to type that she says that's what she does when I'm "being difficult to love," though I am offended to think anyone could ever not love the awesomeness that is Emmett Cullen.

Anyway, good luck, bro.

-Emmett

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: It's been a very eventful time between updates  
**

**---------- **

**I know I said I wanted to finish before November, but that obviously didn't happen. We lost three people where I work, so I have a ton more hours, AND I got the official offer for the job I want in Japan! So I've been getting started on the paperwork for my visa and all that fun stuff. But this story is winding down, and the next update shouldn't take so long (cross your fingers). Hang in there!  
**

**Thank you all soooo much for your amazingly kind words and recs and I just love you all. And of course, HUGE thank yous to bublichka, Adair, and Penelope Rose for helping me with this chapter. I had a hard time with it. And they are all awesome.  
**

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just hacking their computers.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: It's been two days

-----

You weren't in class and Mike said you weren't at work. I'm worried about you, Bella. I know you're mad and hurt, and you have the right to be, but you don't have all the details.

Look, you don't even have to talk to me. Just read the board. Start from the beginning and read all of it. Please.

I'm always here if you need to talk.

Hearts,

Alice

***

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: We missed you at dinner

-----

Edward,

I know something's going on. If you're not going to answer your phone, you can at least email me to let me know you're alive. Emmett told me something happened with Bella, but that's all. He won't give me any more details. My boys are turning against me.

I kid. You know that right? That I only want what's best for you? And if Bella can't see how great you are, then she doesn't deserve you.

But I did like her a lot, and hope you fix whatever you did wrong.

Love,

Mom

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_Like_a_Wolf posted:_

Sooo, are we just waiting around now? I need some closure here.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Here's some closure for you, and to blow your minds a little – when Edward mentioned his brother and Dad are on here, well, I'm his brother. (That hot, strong one).

I introduced him to this board. And I thought it was just going to be some big joke, and registered with this silly name to mess around with him. I figured the more ridiculous, the less likely he'd think I'd be on here. I was right about that, at least.

At anyway rate, yeah it's pretty much a waiting game right now. B's not talking to anyone. I can't blame her, and I think you can all understand.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

But why Sparklemotion? And who's your dad?

Wow, that sounded awkward.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Sparklemotion posted:_

Well my daddy is certainly no one named Squishy, I'll tell you that much. And why not? It's pretty much the opposite of what I am, and I was going incognito.

He was under the name DRHB. I'm trying not to think about it too much.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

I feel like I need to go take a shower or something.

***

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I think I owe you an apology

-----

I'm sorry.

I read the whole post. Alice told me I didn't have all the details, and talked me into reading it.

I should probably be telling you this in person, but I'd like to keep some of my pride in tact.

I was wrong. I can see now that you were just trying to impress me. I'm actually really touched at all you went through for me. No one's ever tried that hard for me before. I wish you would have just talked to me, but I can understand why you didn't. I'm not mad at you anymore.

However, I'm still very much mad at Alice. She should have told me. Or at the very least, not posted on the board. She was going behind my back. And when I was freaking out about you and everything, she knew exactly what was going on and still didn't tell me anything. She was my best friend, she's supposed to tell me everything.

But that's a whole other thing. Please come over.

-Bella

***

FR: Edward

555-1912

---

Em – Bella forgave me. I'm going over there now. You can all relax now.

*

FR Emmett

555-1935

---

That's great, bro! I'll tell Mom, she's been calling me like every hour. But I stayed strong, promise.

***

To: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I'm fine, Bella's fine, you can stop calling every hour

-----

Long story short, there was a really big misunderstanding. I didn't tell Bella about something I should have. But we're okay now. I'm actually still at her apartment, and she's asleep on the couch next to me. We spent a long night talking about everything that happened and how we can prevent it from happening again.

Which brings me to why I'm emailing you. Her best friend Alice played a part in the misunderstanding. I think Bella needs to talk to her, too, but Bella refuses. And I'm not sure if I'm right. What do you think I should do? Alice is the one that finally got Bella to listen to my side of the story, and I feel like I owe her one. But I don't know how to go about fixing this without making things worse.

Suggestions?

Love,

Edward

***

To: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

From: Mom (esmecullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Ok well

-----

Thank you for asking me, sweetie. You know your mom knows best.

Is Bella happy with the way things are now? Ask her if she would be happier if she and Alice were talking again, and if what Alice did is worth the unhappiness they're both experiencing now. Because I'm sure if Alice is any real friend, she'll be just as upset as Bella is.

And this all happened over the weekend, right? Everyone's had time to cool down. Ask Bella to talk to Alice.

Let me know how it goes.

Love,

Mom

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: (no subject)

-----

I'm still mad at you, but Edward says I need to talk to you because if it wasn't for you I'd still be mad at him, too.

What I want to know if why you went behind my back like that. I can understand why Edward did, but not you. You have no problem talking with me about _anything_ and you've never kept secrets like this from me before.

Just be straight with me. What were you thinking?

***

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I was only thinking of you, I swear

-----

It was a pure coincidence that I even discovered the site. Jasper just happened to be posting and reading there, and didn't even know who Edward was until they met on that double date. Remember how weird they were acting? That was Jasper recognizing him.

When Jasper told me, I hesitated at first. I thought the same thing you're probably thinking now – that I was going behind your back. But then I realized that I'd be _helping_ you and Edward, and you were so happy that I couldn't do anything that would jeopardize that. And I didn't tell you, because I thought you should find out from Edward first.

So I'm sorry if you thought I was betraying you. I thought I was helping, I really did.

And does this mean you and Edward made up? And did you read the thread?

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie(a)mymailman. com)

From: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: Edward is here, actually

-----

I read the whole thing and realized that he was just looking for help and that I might have overreacted a little. I apologized and he's been at my apartment pretty much ever since. I feel asleep on his lap last night, and we skipped all our classes and called into work so we could spend some time together and get absolutely everything out in the open.

Then tonight he asked me to email you as a favor to him. He said he owed it to you for getting me to take him back. I grudgingly admitted that he had a point, and here we are.

I'm still a little bit mad, but it not worth losing our friendship over.

***

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Fortunexcookie posted:_

So it looks like things are good again! Everyone's talking to everyone, and Edward and his girl are still together.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Hungry_Like_a_Wolf posted:_

Well then. Show's over, everyone go home.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

Oh, good. I was actually really worried. I've gotten so attached to these people, even though I don't even know them.

By the way, whatever happened to that Anon guy? He hasn't been posting during the whole ordeal, and I was expecting some kind of sarcasm or cynicism.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Maybe he grew a heart

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Death_and_taxes posted:_

Or maybe he got banned.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Anon posted:_

No, I'm here. I was working on my side project of tracking these people down based in the information given on the board. I couldn't find them, so I can only reach one conclusion:

This whole thing is made up. These people aren't real, and we are all wasting our time here.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Lollipop6789 posted:_

Well, I'm real. And I'm glad that things worked out. I wish we got more of the story, though. I mean, all we got is everybody's fine now? Bor-ing.

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Ciaoxbella posted:_

So, hi. It's me again.

I'm not going to freak out again. And I can give you the story now.

The date was going really well. He gave me the bracelet he mentioned, and told me the story about red strings of fate. I couldn't remember the exact quote, so when I got home, I tried to google it and ended up finding this site instead. I was curious so I started skimming, and quickly realized that you were all talking about me.

After I saw the board, I freaked out, as you all know. I went home and locked everyone out, ignoring all my phone calls and texts, and refused to turn my computer on to check any emails. Basically cut off all human interaction, save my roommate, who is rarely home anyway and doesn't care about my love life.

Edward wasn't going to let me go without a fight though. He camped out on my doorstep and refused to leave. And while I refused to talk to him, I didn't want him to get sick or thrown in jail for loitering or something, so after asking him to leave failed, I called in a favor from his brother, as you saw from uh, fortunecookie's post.

When his brother came, Edward put up quite a fight, and I hear he keyed the car in all the hassle. But finally, I was really alone, and I distracted myself by drowning my sorrows in ice cream and a Saved by the Bell marathon.

I skipped classes on Monday because I didn't want to see him on the bus or fortunecookie in class. Then I didn't go to work either, because I just couldn't muster up the energy to really do anything. I was miserable.

So I caved and checked my emails and texts. Edward hadn't given up and neither had fortunecookie, in her attempt to fix her mistakes. And through all the messages, I decided to read this whole post and see what had really happened.

I spent hours reading this whole post, analyzing and over analyzing every comment and now I can understand why Edward did was he did. And I can't thank you all enough for giving him the courage and support he needed to make his move.

After I realized my mistake, I emailed Edward and apologized. He came over right away, and we…um… made up.

I fell asleep in his arms on the couch, and when I woke up the next morning, we decided we needed another day to be really alone. No outside influence or advice, just us.

We went back to the aquarium, and this time it was open. We walked on the boardwalk and watched the lights and the ferries. There wasn't any plan or agenda or anything. Just us, and it was perfect.

There were a few other monumental events, but we're keeping those to ourselves.

When we got back, Edward convinced me to talk to and forgive fortunecookie. Long story short (because I don't think you care as much about that part), we're still friends.

And now we're here. And we're good. And you have your story.

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

And this is the last time either of us will post here on the board. We both decided that the board has served its purpose.

Goodbye, everyone, and thank you so much.

***

FR: Edward

555-1912

-

Is it sad that I already miss you?

*

FR: Bella

555-3285

-

You just left!

*

FR: Edward

555-1912

-

I know. But I can't help how much I love being with you.

*

FR: Bella

555-3285

-

I love you, too. Save me a seat on the bus tomorrow. :)

*

FR: Edward

555-1912

-

I always will.

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: So that's pretty much it  
**

**---------- **

**This is the last real chapter. There'll be a short epilogue, and then that is all for this little fic of mine. Can you believe it?**

**Thanks to everyone who's reading and reviewing! I read and appreciate every single one of them, even if I don't get the chance to respond. I figure you'd rather me be writing the next chapter than responding, right?**

**Also, The Eddies and Bellies are now taking nominations, so be sure to nominate your favorite fics! You have until the 10th. :)  
**

**Again, a HUGE thank you to bublichka for helping me with this chapter. I always struggle with endings, and this was no exception.  
**

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - Standard Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just hacking their computers.**


	16. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_BurningCherubim posted:_

I know it's been like a year since the last post, but does anyone else wonder whatever happened to those two? Does anyone else still have this thread on alert?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_SmoothCriminal posted:_

Nah, I know what you mean. I mean, I never got to find out if he got any of my lines to work. I even heard a new one the other day!

Eh, I'm sharing it anyway.

"This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line."

Great, isn't it?

---

REPLY TO YOUR POST

_Squishy posted:_

Um, no, you still suck.

But I have to admit, I did wonder whatever happened to them.

---

REPLY TO THE POST

_That_boy posted:_

Believe it or not, I still have this on alert, too. A lot has happened in the past year, and well, this is probably the best way to sum it all up: the both of us wanted to share this with you, keeping in mind that it's just an electronic mock-up and not an actual invitation (obviously I changed the names and such). One more time, thank you for all you did for us.

_The Girl You Know as Ciaoxbella  
and  
The Boy You Know as That_boy  
are proud to announce  
their marriage  
on__Sunday, the Thirteenth of August  
Two Thousand and Six  
at three o'clock_

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,

regardless of time, place, or circumstance.

The thread may stretch or tangle,

but it will never break."

- an ancient Chinese belief

**The End**

* * *

**TO: You the Reader (freakingawesome (a) mymailman. com)**

**FROM: Me (unicornhime (a) mymailman. com)**

**SUBJECT: Thank you, thank you, thank you  
**

**---------- **

**It's really over this time. I just want to thank you all one last time. Every reader and reviewer, and everyone who recced this, THANK YOU. You are all fantastic.  
**

**And of course, much, much thanks to my beta bublichka, as well as Adair, Amethyst Jackson, and wuthers for their support when I'm being all emo.**

**I've got some busy times ahead of me, but I do plan to keep writing, so keep an eye out. It might be awhile, just to warn you, but I have at least one more fic one I need to write. Probably more, but at least one. :)  
**

**One more time, THANK YOU.  
**

**Hearts and Love,**

**unicornhime**

**PS - As always, a Standard Disclaimer: Characters to Smeyer, I'm just hacking their computers.  
**


	17. Extra

_Notes: Hey long time, no see! This was written for the Help Haiti Auction a few months ago, so if you donated to that, you got to read this much earlier. _

_This is an outtake from the end of RSoF, written in actual narrative instead of my weird texting. :) Thanks to Anechk86 for being my beta again._

* * *

POST ON THE RED STRINGS OF FATE MESSAGE BOARD

**REPLY TO YOUR POST**

_**Ciaoxbella posted:**_

Wait… Edward? And Alice? And Jasper, too? Who all is on here, discussing my personal life??

Actually, no, nevermind. I don't want to know. I hope you got your entertainment fix or dose of reality TV or whatever you were after from my life.

**---- **

As soon as the post was submitted, Bella jabbed at her computer and turned it off without bothering to shut it down. With tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, she threw herself onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. How could Edward have done this to her? And after she had let herself fall in love with him…

Her phone chirped in its obnoxiously chipper ringtone from her nightstand, the one that Bella had set for Edward as soon as she got his number. Blindly, she reached over and hit ignore, dropping it back to the table.

No sooner than it had been silenced did it ring again, this time in Alice's ringtone. Again, Bella hit ignore, debating whether or not to just turn the phone off. But Renee hinted she might call and Bella hated to turn off her phone in case she tried to call her. If she didn't answer when her mother called, she'd freak out and call Charlie. And if father tried to call and Bella didn't answer, he'd worry and a worried cop plus a worried Renee was the last thing Bella wanted to deal with at the moment.

Her phone rang again, this time signaling a text. Out of habit, her eyes flickered to the screen and saw it was from Edward.

"_Bella, please. Just talk to me. I can explain, as cliché as that sounds."_

Bella didn't want to hear any explanations. She just wanted to be left alone.

Meanwhile, Edward was almost in a full out sprint as he cut across campus in his desperate attempt to speak to her as soon as possible. Redialling as many times as his phone allowed, there was still no sign that Bella was going to give in any time soon. He tried a text, to see if that would offer any better luck, but he got no response.

He reached her apartment and began banging on the door before he even caught his breath. There was no way she could ignore him all night long. And if all night long was what it took, then that was what he was willing to give.

When it was clear that she wasn't going to answer his calls, he left a message.

"Bella. _Please._ I know I did something stupid. I know I hurt you, but I _swear _I didn't mean to, and I'll do whatever it takes to make the hurt go away. Please just let me in so I can talk to you."

He lowered the phone dejectedly. His arm was growing tired from pounding on the door, and he was still gasping for breath from his impromptu marathon. He sunk to the ground, leaning against the door and completely at a loss for what he was supposed to do next.

Bella was weak. She listened to his voice mail, her heart breaking all over again at the sound of his voice.

The ping of her computer made her jump and she realized she'd only turned the screen off and not the whole machine. She debated looking or not, but in the end curiosity crushed her and she switched the screen back on.

It was from Edward, of course.

To: Bella (ciaobella(a)mymailman. com)

From: Edward (eacullen(a)mymailman. com)

Subject: I made another mistake

------

I'll stand out here all night if I have to, but Bella, please listen to me. I meant every word I ever said to you. This wasn't just some game or means of entertainment to me. I've gotten to really know you, and to really care about you. And I know that despite the fact you're upset right now, you can't ignore the New Mail chime. I know that you're sitting there, as you read this, biting your lip, and fiddling with a curl of hair, like you always do when you're anxious about something. You probably didn't even realize you were doing it.

Bella, I'm not perfect. I'm going to make mistakes. You know this better than anyone. But I don't regret going on that board. Without it, I never would have had the courage to talk to you. I never would have been able to get anywhere in a relationship with you. You don't realize how intimidating you are – you're so beautiful and so sweet. You're so everything I ever wanted. Please tell me I didn't ruin this forever?

Love,

Edward

---

The tears flowed freely now, as she realized just how well Edward knew her. She was indeed twisting one strand of hair around her fingers and biting her lip. She stopped doing both as soon as she realized she was doing it, but her stomach turned in painful ways.

The phone rang again, and again she hit ignore. She wanted to forgive him and believe the best, but as she'd skimmed that thread, she'd seen her most embarrassing moment to date, and several accounts of her dates with Edward. Those dates with Edward had been important to her, and private. To see them online like that seemed to cheapen them. They weren't just hers and Edward's anymore, they belonged to everyone and anyone now.

Again, the phone called to her. Again, she hit ignore. But she knew that if he kept calling all night, she'd give in and answer eventually. And even through her anger and hurt, she knew that talking to him wasn't a good idea – they would both probably say things they didn't meant to say.

So when the phone sang to her again, she typed out a reply.

"Please go home. You're going to get sick if you sit out there all night."

She got a response almost immediately.

"Not until I talk to you. Did you get my message?"

Which message did he mean? The ones that hurt to look at online? The voicemail? His latest email?

"I got your email. And your voice message. Please, just go home. I can't do this tonight."

Again, an almost instant reply.

"I'm not giving up on you."

And then her phone fell silent. She didn't know how to respond, so she said nothing. Instead she peaked out her window, to see if Edward was indeed still there.

He was. He was huddled on her doorstep, cradling his phone like his last lifeline, and clearly distraught.

Bella couldn't stand to have him out there all night, and she knew he was stubborn enough to do just that. So she punched in Alice's number.

Alice answered on the first ring. "Bella! I'm so-"

"I really don't want to talk to you or anyone right now." Her voice was clipped and soft. "I just need you to get Edward off my porch. I don't care what you have to do. Call his brother if you have to. He owes me one anyway. "

"Bella, you don't have all the details, please just-"

Bella cut her off again. "Alice. Just do this one thing for me." And then she hung up before Alice could protest any further. She watched from her window until Emmett drove up, and then she pulled her blinds shut, turned off every electrical device that connected her to the outside world, calls from Charlie forgotten, and went to cry herself to sleep.

Edward, on the other hand, wasn't going to give up without a fight. He refused to move from his post, forcing his brother to get physical. Edward wasn't a big guy like Emmett, but he wasn't going to make this easy.

First he went limp, making himself as heavy as possible as Emmett finally lifted him over his shoulders, much like he had Bella not so long ago. Edward struggled all the way to the car, pounding Emmett's back and head, and kicking whatever he could.

Finally, Emmett just dumped him in the passenger seat of his jeep. Edward knew it was a lost cause from there, and resigned himself to sulking and glaring at Emmett.

"Look, knock it off, Edward." Emmett could only take the glaring for about two blocks before speaking. It wasn't a long drive, but he couldn't stand the tense silence.

"You screwed up. We both know this. Now man up and unscrew it up."

"That's was I was trying to do," Edward replied darkly.

"Well you were doing a crappy job of it," Emmet remarked.

"I was doing the best I knew how. "

"Well then let me tell you something I've learned while I've been married to Rose. Sometimes, you've just got to give them their space. Sometimes, everything I say just makes things worse. So I leave her alone for a bit, and then when we've both calmed down, we can talk about things like adults. And then have great make-up sex."

Edward didn't even bother to roll his eyes as the car rolled to a stop in front of his building.

"Seriously, bro, you both just need to calm down. And if you go back over there, I'll just have to come back and drag you home again. And as much as I enjoy dragging you around, I'm not so much a fan of being outside in the cold in the middle of the night. Don't make me beat you up."

"Whatever," Edward said sulkily, climbing out of the car. He didn't say anything else, and instead let the key in his right hand doing the talking as he dragged it alongside the jeep's shiny exterior.

***

The next day, Bella woke up with an enormous headache, feeling like she'd run clear to the Pacific and thrown herself in it only to be thrown back to shore because the ocean didn't want her.

With a groan, she pulled herself upright and shook her head, trying to wake up. She was still in her clothes from the day before, and was a bit sore from sleeping in her jeans. So the first item of business was to shower and change her clothes.

Once that was done, she felt remarkably better. At least until she caught site of her phone. With no small amount of trepidation, she turned it back on.

Fifteen missed calls from Edward. Another two from Alice. At least there weren't any from either parent.

No texts or messages, though, thankfully. She dismissed all her missed alerts and set to the next task of checking her email. She was sure she'd get some messages there.

And her inbox didn't disappoint. Not only did she have several from Edward and Alice, but also she must have somehow unwittingly subscribed to the thread that had made this whole mess in the first place.

"Well, Alice, you said I didn't have all the details," she muttered to herself. "I'm going to get them now."

She went back to the website and began reading from the very beginning. She wasn't even two pages in when she realized what a mistake she'd made. Snippets stuck in her memory and she tried to read faster and faster until she reached her own post.

"one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen…"

"I wrote down what I want to say, so hopefully I won't screw this up…."

"It sounded perfect..."

Bella had never full grasped just how hard Edward was working to impress her and just how much effort he had put into their relationship. She knew she owed Edward a serious apology. She tried calling, but there was no answer and it was then she realized what time it was. The whole day was nearly passed and she missed both her classes and her work.

'It was worth it though,' she thought to herself.

She tried the next best way to contact Edward and typed out an email, agonizing over each word and phrase before deciding that simple honesty was probably best.

_I'm sorry._

_I read the whole post. Alice told me I didn't have all the details, and talked me into reading it._

_I should probably be telling you this in person, but I'd like to keep some of my pride in tact._

_I was wrong. I can see now that you were just trying to impress me. I'm actually really touched at all you went through for me. No one's ever tried that hard for me before. I wish you would have just talked to me, but I can understand why you didn't. I'm not mad at you anymore._

_However, I'm still very much mad at Alice. She should have told me. Or at the very least, not posted on the board. She was going behind my back. And when I was freaking out about you and everything, she knew exactly what was going on and still didn't tell me anything. She was my best friend, she's supposed to tell me everything._

_But that's a whole other thing. Please come over._

_-Bella_

Then all she could do was sit back and wait.

Edward, on the other hand, was pulling his hair out when he discovered that in his earnest desperation to contact Bella, he'd let his phone battery die. He had gone to class in hopes of seeing her, and then to work in case she tried to find him, but neither attempt turned fruitful, and he wondered what else could go wrong.

"Ben, please tell me you have your phone on you," he begged his coworker.

"Yeah, always. Do you need it?"

"I just need to check my email really quick."

"You've been checking your own phone all afternoon, is something up?" Ben asked as he handed his iPhone over.

"More than something," Edward mumbled, already distracted as he entered his sign-on info.

He almost dropped the phone when he saw he finally received a response from Bella. He read through it quickly once, then again to make sure he wasn't just imagining it.

Without even signing out, he tossed the phone back to Ben, grabbed his jacket and ran out the door calling, "I gotta go! I'll explain later!"

Within minutes he was back outside Bella's door. He knocked once, eagerly, though not quite sure what to expect.

Bella opened the door shyly. "That was quick."

Edward immediately began to apologize all over again, "Bella I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gone behind your back like that and I-"

She held her hand up to his lips, effectively shutting him up. "I know. I'm sorry, too, for overreacting." She paused, and laughed half-heartedly at herself. "Why don't you come in first?"

He gave her a small smile and follower her inside. They both sat on the couch, a respectful distance away from each other, neither knowing quite what to say, but both happy just to be with the other.

"So," Edward began again. "You read the rest of the thread?"

"I did," Bella said, looking down and picking at the couch.

"And you still want to talk to me?"

"If anything I want to talk to you _more_," she confessed. And that seemed to be all she needed to open the floodgates. "Edward, I should have known you wouldn't have done anything to hurt me. I'm honestly so touched at how much effort and work you put into getting my attention and into trying to make me happy. And I was happy. So happy. And I think that's what freaked me out. After such a perfect night, I think I couldn't believe it was real and that it was really happening to me. So when I saw that thread, it gave me an excuse to say that it wasn't all real."

"I meant it, everything I did and said that night," Edward insisted. "You know that right?"

"I think so. At least, now I do."

"Bella, look at me?" He couldn't stand the way she felt so far away.

She lifted her head and met his gaze, and that gave him all the strength he needed to continue.

"Bella, I love you." He said. "I meant it when I said it then, and I mean it now. You are such an amazing person, and I know I've screwed up. But I'm not good at this stuff, and I'm probably going to screw up again."

She laughed at that.

"But I'm not stupid either." He took her hands in his and kissed her fingers. "I'm not going to make the same mistakes again, and I'm not going to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," she admitted. "I'll try not to be so stupid next time you screw up and give you time to explain." Now it was his turn to laugh. "But seriously now," she shifted so she was kneeling beside him, "I love you, too. And I don't want us to break up over something stupid like a misunderstanding."

"Let's not talk about breaking up anymore," Edward said, "I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. I didn't exactly sleep well last night."

Bella looked contrite. "I'm sorry about that, too."

"Don't be, no more apologies. Just get over here," he pulled her over until she was nestled against his side, where she stayed wrapped in his arms until they both drifted off to sleep.


End file.
